Saturday, February 5, 2011

so I wrote...

So I wrote a letter to the "New Guy" that didn't say much but well, it- Thanked him -basically for ending things last week with me.

I know...kinda odd right?

But that's part of who I am. 

I'm a communicator.  But I'm also a letter writer.


You could ask the EX or my dear friend in England about them though personally I think the EX just blew them off and all that. 

Though I will say I was usually pretty good about making sure that I didn't write angry letters. Which never does any good in my opinion.  But then again by the time I started sending them I think he knew me pretty well. 

Which leaves me in a spot on this one...

Do I send it? 

See the New Guy, doesn't know me, not yet at least.

(And yes I wonder if I should call New Guy the Ex now since we are no longer dating but I don't think 3 dates makes you an Ex, at least not for me).

And so I wonder, should I send it. 

He seems like a nice guy and the intent behind the letter is to be nice but to also hopefully clear a little bit of what seems like awkwardness between us. 

Since I'm still going to his church on Saturday nights. 

Which in all fairness to me isn't really "his" church since I know about 5 other people that go there as well. 
People I didn't know went there before I decided to check it out.

But no less I like the church, it's a nice change of pace for me. Going to a church where no one needs anything from me.  One where I'm not the one of the youth leaders, but just a girl in the congregation. 
One where I can fully get into worship so easily.  (I LOVE the worship there, if I got nothing else from this place I think I would go for that alone).

SO I don't intend to stop going there.  At least not anytime soon. 

So I hold on to my letter.  One I would send, normally right away.

One that's been in my purse since Monday.


Because a part of me does still care what this guy thinks.

But I'm not sure if I care more about what the potential boyfriend thinks/thought or what the potential friend thought/thinks?

OR how it will be accepted.

If it will be accepted. 

Maybe not. 

But maybe good.

So I'll keep that letter in my purse for now. 

Till I get a feeling on what to do with it.

And ladies, please pray for me.  Healthwise it was a rough day.

Good news though from the Doc- it's not the thyroid.


Patti said...

I share the letter-writing thing...I feel better getting things out there. What I've learned, though, is that for me those letters really are about ME and not them - it's about me needing to say things that I wish I had said or say things that would bring me closure.

You didn't ask for opinions, but if you were to ask, my suggestion (from lesson learned the hard way) would be to just keep the letter, not send it. What you see as a well-intentioned thank you that comes with no obligation on his part can come off to him as awkward and unnecessary and puts him in a position of "Do I respond? Am I a jerk if I don't?" I did it once and it made future interactions really uncomfortable, and when we finally made it to the other side (several years later), he told me that he thought getting that letter was just odd and it made him think I was trying to get him back and it made me seem weak.

Obviously every experience is different, but we single girls have to stick together and help each other out, so there's my experience. Take from it what you will :-)

Leanna said...

Thank you for your honest comment.
I think you're right. It would probably be all about me if I were to send the letter.
And there is no way to know at this point how it would be recieved even if the intent behind it is one thing.
So with this one at least at this point I plan to hold off on send it.
Thanks again!!