Thursday, February 10, 2011

Faith Barista Jam- Single Thoughts on Marriage

FaithBarista_UnwrapLoveBadgeThis weeks topic was a little rough for me too.  I'm not really sure what I would want to be told about marriage or what I have to tell on it.

(courtesy of google images)

As you know, if you've been following my blog or even if you just read the info at the top I'm single.  So I don't know marriage on the personal level as I've never been married.

One thing I've learned from watching people is that no one is perfect. 
OK so maybe I've learned that little fact just from life it's self. 

And marriage doesn't suddenly make life perfect.  Often from what I can tell it just takes your problems and multiplies it by two.  You have any problems and issues you had before you were married and it takes your significant other's problems and issues and adds them together. 

But it also adds someone to work through those problems and issues with you.  Someone you can talk things though with, bounce ideas for problem solving with, someone to pray things over with. 

I know that one thing I look for in a significant other is someone who is going to draw me closer to God. 

I am realistic enough to know though that whoever he is going to be he's not going to be perfect.  He may have bad days- heck I'm pretty sure that's going to be a given.  But I'll have bad days too.  Just like I have bad days now.

My hope in marriage is that he and I will complement each other.  That where I am weak he will be strong and vice verse. 

My hope is that we will be willing to work through anything together. 

Because I believe that a good marriage is a working marriage.  That even once you're married you're not entering suddenly into your happily ever after. 
And I think that's something all women need to know. 

Especially the younger ones, who have idealized dreams on what marriage should be. 

Marriage just like life takes work.  And no matter who your price charming is he may not always seem charming to you.  but that doesn't mean you should throw in the towel.  That's the time when you should dig deep, remember the good qualities you saw when were dating, the qualities that helped lead you to say yes when he asked you to marry him.  Focus in on those when the times are tough.

And remember your vows from when you married. 

For better or worse, in most cases is what you said.  Which was an insight into your future even if you didn't know it. 

There are going to be worse times, but remember it's once we've gotten through the worst times that we truly appreciate the better times that life brings. 

Allow that thought to comfort you if you're married and struggling.  The bad times won't last forever,  lean on one another and lean into God together. 

And I think that marriage is one additional (because really we should put this in pratice everyday even if we aren't married) to put the following verses into pratice.  And it should be something all of us singles (male or female) look for in our future spouse.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.


Sheryl said...

Great post, Leanna! It's nice to see some other singes in the Jam---I haven't refreshed my page yet, but so far I think there are 3 of us.

I love what you say about finding a husband who will spur you on in your spiritual life. That's one of my big criteria, too. Sometimes it's obvious that someone won't do that (at least not in a positive way). Sometimes it takes a much closer look. I hope God brings you together with such a man when you're both ready.

Bonnie Gray said...

I love this post, Leanna. You are a deep thinker and wise.

"There are going to be worse times, but remember it's once we've gotten through the worst times that we truly appreciate the better times that life brings."

The experience of my singlehood has definitely enriched my married life now because I have learned how to be on my own with God -- and this hasn't changed, being married. A strong marriage comes from 2 people independently dependent on God together.

I'm so glad you jammed! You're awesome.