Full of Good things, like...
A quick trip to Vegas over Superbowl weekend
Photography & Photo shop Classes
Good times with Friends
And filled with some not so wonderful things, like....
The dentist, for 2 new fillings
The dermatologist, where I had to have my first biopsy. (thankfully that came back good.)
And more doctor visits.
I've been to my "female" doctor a few times already this year.
And I go in for a mammogram on Friday.
My first one...because we found lumps at the beginning of the year.
Lumps that were still there when I went back again last week.
I'm 32...only just recently...and I have to have one.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm glad they aren't just having me wait and see and all that...
A month of waiting was bad enough.
And it may be nothing.
But I wonder at times....will it ever stop?
The constant seeing the doctor.
The constant not feeling well.
The constant (daily) pain, nausea, moodiness and feeling tired.
I was always a healthy person.
I used to get perfect attendance in school, it was something I was very proud of.
I was NEVER sick.
In fact the only year I remember not having perfect attendance was when I was in 3rd grade because I got chicken pox.
Other than that I'm pretty sure I was good. I don't even remember being sick in High School.
And aside from a few problems in my very early 20s mostly with some cysts everything was fine then as well.
But since I've turned 30 it's been a crazy ride.
One I haven't been particularly fond of to be honest.
Please know I'm not intending to complain here.
There is a part of me that knows things could be worse....much much worse.
But I need to try to clear my head of these things.
To see if I can maybe see it from a different angle.
To understand better.
Writing it out may not change a thing.
But maybe I'll feel a little better about things.
Maybe I'll understand a little more.
There are certain things I don’t think I’ll ever understand.
Because there is so much I don't understand about this journey.