Monday, March 19, 2012

I'm frustrated

Right now, this very moment I'm frustrated.

Not with a person but with my body.

My heath.

See I'm training for this half marathon. 

I'm so close to the date of the run...March 31st. 

Today, March 19th I need to go and run my 11 miles. 

But I feel horrible. 

My back is just throbbing, my stomach is cramping and I kinda feel like I want to vomit.

Not real conductive for running 11miles.

I just want to sit down and cry.

I've even taken my 4 (800mg) of Ibuprophen.  And still hurt like this.

I'm frustrated now that my body doesn't seem to want to let me do what I want to do.

I just want some answers.

And to be healed.

It's been 2 years now since the problem started and we still don't know what it is.
The pain seems to be getting worse.

Yes I'm switching doctors.
I think this one is done.
She thinks she's tried everything and basically thinks we won't know unless we do a hystromecty.
And neither of us is willing to do that yet.

And she doesn't want to look at some of the things I want to look at. 


I'm getting refered to a Gastro Intestinologist, even though I don't think that we will find anything there.  You never kow though.

And once I get that referal I'm calling a few other doctors to get a 3rd and 4th opinion. 
Someone out there has to be able to help right?


*** Side note***
I do believe God can and will heal me.
I'm claiming it every day with every pain moment.
I just have to wait for his timing.
And I do believe he has a reason for all of this.
One day hopefully I'll know what that is.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Oh My...

I realize I've left you all hanging for quite some time now on the things that were going on over here. 

Life has just been super busy as always and I didn't have time to make it all work. 

So I let the blog slip a little...again. 

So let me fill you in on things.

Got the results of the mammogram. 
I'm all clear with the exception that I need to do self exams at least twice a month and then if anything new shows up or anything changes to what is there I have to go in right away.
Otherwise I can wait until I'm 40 for the next one.
So big Praise the Lord on that one.

The other stuff...we'll I go in again on the 13th for all of that.
But I am waiting, believing and trusting God for my healing.
I'm doing my best to understand that I don't need to have an answer of what it is to know that He is taking care of it. 
When I have an "attack" I'm speaking against it and believing I'm healed. 

I know what ever happens,that my God is bigger than all of this. 
And that even when I don't know his plans, the whys in all things or what He wants me to learn
I know I can trust Him with all of it. 

And it will all eventually be ok.

Sunday Night Sun Set