Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year's "Resolute"

So I don’t do New Year’s resolutions… normally I think they are just a waste.

How often does one make a resolution and then not follow through.

The way I look at it if you want to change, change. Don’t waste your time resolving to do it the first of the year. There’s no rhyme or reason to wait for that. Do it when you see the change needing to be made.

This year though I was looking back on the year, thinking about things, reflecting. And there is something I want to change. The fact of the matter is that the feeling to change just happened to come when I was standing at the Grand Canyon Saturday morning…January 1, 2011.

So while this isn’t really a new year’s resolution I do want to make this change.

I want to work on forgiveness. Not really of others, I feel like I do that ok for the most part. Yes I have my moments where I have to really work past something and then am able to forgive but for the most part I do make it to the forgiveness stage relatively sooner vs. later. But I want and need to work on forgiving myself. I need to cling to the fact that God has forgiven me for my mistakes, even the big ones I made this past year, and I need to move forward. Yes learn from them but I need to let them go.

As I started out this year at the Grand Canyon, where it was indeed very cold. I was stopped by the thought of release. Letting go of all those things that I’d been clinging to, blaming myself about –don’t get me wrong- God hates that I sinned and wasn’t pleased with my actions (FYI I got that one out of the Bible) but I asked for forgiveness, repented, and he is faithful and just to forgive me. 1 John 1:9

SO I’ve decided that I’m letting go of that guilt, and while I don’t think it will be easy to do, because that’s just part of who I am, I do think it’s the right thing to do.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28, NIV.)

And after all, I need to remember, that things in his hands should be just like tossing something into that Grand Canyon. Once there – there is no way I’m going into that canyon to get it back out.


Alyssa Rose said...

Wow! The pictures are S.O. beautiful! I really like the ones with you in them! ;)

I, too, need to work on forgiving myself and letting go of some of those same things!

Happy New year my blogging friend!

Bonnie Gray said...

Hi Leanna, What beautiful hopes you share this journey of letting go, as you stood at the edge of a chasm... and at the first of a new year. The Grand Canyon is breath-taking when you get there, and I feel the same excitement for your faith moment, as you describe it here. Thank you for beginning this moment together, Leanna! Just tweeted this out.

Leanna said...

Thanks Bonnie- I may have to get in on this Twitter stuff some day :o)

dunlizzie said...

I found you through Barista Jam. I can so relate. Thank you for sharing so openly and absolutely beautiful pictures... I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon in person. Love how you said this, "should be just like tossing something into that Grand Canyon. Once there – there is no way I’m going into that canyon to get it back out." God bless :)

Amy Nabors said...

I struggle with the same thing. Remembering that God loves me for who he made me to be and not for what I've done. Love the pics from the grand canyon. I've been once and want to go back soon.

Sheryl said...

Gorgeous pictures!

I think forgiving myself is often the hardest part of forgiveness. It took me a while to realize that when I refused to forgive myself I tried to put my self in a position superior to God. If the God of the Universe forgives me, who am I to think I can't extend it to myself.

May your journey be joyful!