Friday, January 14, 2011

31 sucks

**2 things**
1.I started this post yesterday, which was not a good day. 
2. This is not meant to be a sympathy gathering post just one that is stating how I feel.  The tone of it is pretty non optimistic.  I do know that God has a plan and all that.  I just wish I could see a little part of it. 

So far 31 isn't shaping up to be better than 30 was.

What a GREAT day...know that comment is dripping with sarcasm. 

It started by having to get out of bed this morning, normally I sleep through the night but last night I was up, and up, and up. 
Then kept looking at the clock till about 15 min before the alarm was to go off. 

So I got up, got ready, when I managed to burn my neck with my curling iron.

I then headed to work, where I got stuck behind people that didn't want to drive even though the lights were green, so I was late for work. 

Then about an hour after I was there our receptionist decided that she would announce to everyone that it was my Birthday, over the speaker, so EVERYONE knew.  And I guess she thought it would be cute to tell everyone I was 29...not 31.  (I'm sure her intentions were to be nice) Which made it so I was telling everyone all day that I was not 29 but 31.  Which wasn't exactly fun.  (No I have no issue with being 31 it's just a number, but when people think you are making it out like it is it's not fun at all).

(TMI Coming up) Oh and I started the day before which means I REALLY started full on yesterday.  Which is pretty painful after having the appendix out...still.  So I was in pain most of the day.  And really hormonal, and really irritable and emotional. 

Then I decided I'd text the New Guy to check on him, after all I still hadn't heard about the family emergency.  And I was concerned. 

So I said this " Hey don't want to bother you, I'm sure you probably still have a lot on your plate but I wanted to see how you are.  And let you know you and the fam are in my prayers."
I should mention to  I had called Wednesday night on my way home from church to see if I could talk to him, you know instead of doing all this via text.

This is what I got back -"Hey chica- saw you called last night.  Sorry about lack of comm.  Not necessarily 'busy' just paced.  How are things w/ u?" 

Which I'm sorry- kinda set me off.  I mean one I didn't say he was BUSY- I basically figured with just getting back, then having a family emergency and all that, he probably just didn't have time or desire to communicate.  And what the heck is paced?  I'd never even had that mentioned to me before. 

So I asked "I'm sorry- What is paced?"
To which he said."Means...on the go.  Just started school back up as well last night-blah"

And even though I respond to that, and did shortly later tell him I was ok.  (because I had forgotten) I haven't heard anything else. 

Now the vibe I've gotten from this is that he's no longer interested.  Is that what you all get?  Maybe I'm wrong here, but I just can't help but get this feeling. 

So after all of that I still had the work day to finish out, which resulted in about 5 paper cuts. 

I went to the gym after work, because I felt pretty bad still and thought maybe I could "work it out", which didn't work.  Then went home and curled up with the heating pad. 
All alone. 
I'm not sure where my sister was (probably out with her fiance) but she wasn't home till about 9ish. 

Then she asked if I had a good day where upon her doing that I broke down into tears and went to bed.  I didn't want to talk about it. 
Where I cried & prayed asking God what the heck and all that for probably a half hour before falling asleep. 

So yes, 31 sucked.  At least day one of it. 

Next year, I plan to be out of the country for my birthday.  Where no one can reach me via phone or text or even email. 
Where I can just pretend that it's one more day.  Maybe then it won't be such a crappy day. 
I really don't like my birthday. 

1 comment:

Alyssa Rose said...

Hey, girlie, just want you to know ~ I'm listening... & so is HE :0)

:: The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. ::

~Am I telling that to you or to me??? ;S