These are the rambelings of a single girl, most of the time I've loved my singleness and embraced it. But the year I hit 30, for some reason singleness just seem hard. In the 2 years since I started this I've had ups and downs but through it all one thing remains, God has been there with me in every moment and every step.
This blog is about my personal journey of being single, following Christ and trying to live life as I should. To live life off the sidelines &really live.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Last night was my second date with Zoolander. (3rd if you count the non-date/date)
That's what I plan to call him going forward due to the whole modeling thing and all that.
Plus Zoolander is a HILARIOUS movie, so everytime I think it or say it
(Courtesy of Google Images)
one of these images from the movie comes to mind and just makes me laugh or smile and that is always a good thing.
Things seems to be going really well with Zoolander, I find that I'm really looking forward to going out with him when we arange to.
And he's easy to talk to for the most part.
But I'm SO bad at this whole dating thing.
Horrible at it.
He asks questions which yes I know you're supposed to ask them when getting to know someone.
But I find I'm really not comfortable with talking about myself for the most part.
Or he'll ask something and I just don't know - I can't seem to come up with the answer, so while I'm trying to answer I'll be thinking to myself this isn't right, that's not what I want to say, or something like that will be running through my head.
It's stupid really.
But I'm at a total loss for what I need to do.
And lets face it, I'm scared. I think I might have mentioned that before.
But what do I do? How do I get past this fear of being hurt again? I know that fear is bad. I know that it's not from God. I know that He is healing and that it is a process so it will come complete in time.
But I don't really want this guy to think I'm a retard in the time being.
I made the statement last night that I'd been hurt, he made a joke out of it, basically saying that we all have been hurt. (which is VERY true in most cases)
But the truth of the matter is I've yet to be in a successful relationship- all of my past ones have ended badly.
On the phone later after we were both home I told him that. So I really don't know what he thinks of it, but I guess it was something I really needed to say. Which is probably just one more mark on the crazy side for me. :o(