Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Date Night

Last night was my second date with Zoolander. (3rd if you count the non-date/date)

That's what I plan to call him going forward due to the whole modeling thing and all that.
Plus Zoolander is a HILARIOUS movie, so everytime I think it or say it
(Courtesy of Google Images)

one of these images from the movie comes to mind and just makes me laugh or smile and that is always a good thing. 
Things seems to be going really well with Zoolander, I find that I'm really looking forward to going out with him when we arange to.
And he's easy to talk to for the most part.

But I'm SO bad at this whole dating thing. 
Horrible at it.

He asks questions which yes I know you're supposed to ask them when getting to know someone. 
But I find I'm really not comfortable with talking about myself for the most part. 
Or he'll ask something and I just don't know - I can't seem to come up with the answer, so while I'm trying to answer I'll be thinking to myself this isn't right,  that's not what I want to say, or something like that will be running through my head. 
It's stupid really. 

But I'm at a total loss for what I need to do. 

And lets face it, I'm scared.  I think I might have mentioned that before. 
But what do I do?  How do I get past this fear of being hurt again?  I know that fear is bad.  I know that it's not from God.  I know that He is healing and that it is a process so it will come complete in time. 
But I don't really want this guy to think I'm  a retard in the time being. 

I made the statement last night that I'd been hurt, he made a joke out of it, basically saying that we all have been hurt.  (which is VERY true in most cases)
But the truth of the matter is I've yet to be in a successful relationship- all of my past ones have ended badly. 
On the phone later after we were both home I told him that.  So I really don't know what he thinks of it, but I guess it was something I really needed to say.  Which is probably just one more mark on the crazy side for me.  :o( 

What do you think? 


Alyssa Rose said...

I don’t think you’re crazy, sweetie. I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. (Yeah, I know, that’s hard to do.) But your “hurt” is in your past and you are trying to move on and continue to live your life. There is nothing wrong with that. Letting this new, “He” guy, know you’ve been hurt is just letting him get to know a little of who you are and your life experience.

In answer to your question...
I think:

*You should cut this guy some slack. You keep wondering what he is thinking about you. Stop. Give yourself time to wonder what you think about him? Just remember, he is just as human as you are and has a past, too. And I am sure he understands what it is to be hurt, disappointed, misunderstood *… (Insert applicable words *here.)

*Be YOURSELF!!! Who cares what you look like, say, or do! Be who God created you to be. If this guy likes you for who you are then you shouldn’t have to worry of fear what he is thinking. Let go of all that and let God do all the rest. It will be SO much easyer and you will be albe to relax.

Regardless of all the above... I DO hope you had a wonderful night and I can't wait to hear all about it! ;)

I'm praying for you dear girl!
In His hands,
Alyssa Rose

Leanna said...

Thanks so much Alyssa- I need to hear al of this.
I wish I didn't feel so insecure on all of it. Or so bad at it.
But I'm working on it and he seems willing to extend grace like God does thankgoodness. :o)