Thursday, May 3, 2012

Contraception & Insurance Companies

So if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time or have gone back and read any of my older posts most of you know that I have struggled for almost 2 years now with "female problems".

Female problems that have gone essentially undiagnosed.
Female problems that had me bleeding 20 (or more) days of the month
Female problems that caused severe pain
Female problems that caused discomfort, kind of like some one stabbing my abdomen.
Female problems that caused hormone imbalances and mood swings
Female problems that caused my skin to break out again like I was a teenager
Among other things...

And that these "issues" have had me in and out of the doctors office more often that I care to admit.
As my Gynecologist said at the beginning of the year..."I see you more than I see most of my patients that are having a baby".
And I know that I've had more ultra sounds than most pregnant women...even though I've never been pregnant. Which honestly isn't something I'm particularly lovin'

You also know if you've been reading my blog that I am a Christian. 
That I strive to live the way the Bible maps out for us. 
Loving others, doing good, having faith and all of that. 

Today I want to touch on this subject, the one about insurance companies not covering Birth Control. And friend and former youth of mine (who is also a pastor's daughter posted this blog last night)
Esoterically Inclined ....Contraception Inception
Touching on the subject that has been in the news recently...about Birth Control not being covered by Insurance Companies because of religious reasons.


Here's why I want to discuss...

It's because there's one thing you probably don't know... I have an IUD. 
Not because I'm sexually active.  I'm not. 
I wasn't when it was placed either. 
But for someone who was have 20 day periods something had to be done. 
I didn't like the idea of the pill, because one I'm not super good at taking things and two because I've got some cancer in my family history.
That and the fact that most are estrogen based. Almost everything thing that I've read had lead me to believe that more estrogen isn't really good for Endometriosis. 
And while my doctor did not know but was suspecting that my problem was Adenomyosis. 
Also known as Endometriosis of the Uterus.  (& the only thing to "cure" it is a hysterectomy though Some studies have shown that there is a relationship between Adenomyosis and hormone imbalance, most commonly an excess of estrogen. Progesterone therapy, either in the natural or synthetic form has been known to help, but shows very little long term benefits.)

As you can guess I didn't want to add to the problem with typical birth control. 
Plus I wanted something that would allow me to still have a period.  Even if it was a shorter one. 
So I could still somewhat monitor what was going on with everything. 
(What can I say I'm not a let's cover up all symptoms kind of girl with not knowing exactly what it is)
And we had already done a diagnostic laparoscopy to see what we could find out inside. 
So the IUD was our reasonable conclusion to help sort at least some of the problem I was having or at least that was the hope that we had with it. 
The doctor's office had checked with my insurance company to see what the cost would be. 
They told them it would be covered however 2 months later (after it was placed) we found that it was not, and I received a bill for $900. 
Honestly, I don't  know if I would have had it placed if I had been told it would cost that much.  Yet at the same time I may have since I was so tired of (at the time over 6 months) of all the "issues" I was having. 
But I do know this there have been times I wanted to take it out yet because of the cost involved don't really consider that a valid option. 
Because there's no guarantee that the next thing we try won't be just as expensive since any type of birth control isn't covered by insurance (unless you've met your deductible- which I have only ever once done since aside from this I usually am only at the doctor once a year, aside from "well visits").

But here's the thing.  I don't need birth control for sexual reasons.  I'm not using it to prevent pregnancy,  I'm using it for a legitimate health reason. 
And I think it should be covered by insurance.  As one who aside from these last  2 years have hardly used my insurance for ANYTHING at all, I now had to pay $900 out of pocket for something to help me be able to LIVE my life. 
You might think that sounds dramatic but I assure you.  When you have super painful periods, cysts that pop regularly though out the month, and bleed 20 out of 30 days (which causes fatigue) along with other symptoms it really does inhibit you being able to really live your life. 

I do understand Christian companies not wanting to pay for abortions and for people to be "promiscuous" - I will not get into the whole, it's not their place to judge but to love aspect of things. Or the many other list of reasons (see the link to Sarah's blog above for more of that if you like) but at the same time, what about me or those like me who need it for HEALTH reasons?
And after all, an insurance company should be there to provide a service for me, one that I have PAID into over and above what they have paid for in services for me.  (I've had insurance on my own for over 10years and can't tell you how much I've paid monthly for it but it's a TON!)

Wouldn't you agree? 
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject regardless of what they are ...good or bad.




Monday, April 16, 2012

Unsure...

So, I started dating someone 3 weeks ago.
Really nice guy, LOTS of potential. 
I didn't say anything on here because well...when it comes to relationships of this nature I find them deeply personal.
Which is just how I am.
I often don't tell my family about them and more often than not, things are over before anyone gets to meet anyone else.
I know...that's probably not a good thing right?
But it's almost always how I've been. 
I have no real reason behind why I've been this way it's just me I guess.

I'm trying with this one though to kind of do things differently.
I've told my parents about him (which is almost a first).
And my sisters.
Even friends.

Which is a good step for me.

But I'll be honest.
I'm having a hard time with everything.
I want to like him but there is a big element of fear there in doing so.

I'm afarid I'm going to get hurt (AGAIN)
And I don't want to get hurt again.

So I'm trying to just pray through all of this.

Will you pray with me?
I'm asking specifically for peace. 
That no matter what I will allow God to give me his peace in this situation.
That His will, will be the guiding force behind all my thoughts, moves, motivies or whatever in this.

thanks.

Monday, April 2, 2012

So Proud...

Finally!
The day arrived Saturday.
The day I have been training for since last December!

On Saturday March 31, 2012 I ran my first HALF MARATHON.

I finished almost exactly where I thought I would.

Just over 2 hours 44 minutes (sorry I can't seem to remember the seconds count)

And I'm so happy I did it.

It's Monday and I'm still sore, but I did it.

I was super nervous.  Especially on Friday.
But Saturday morning at 8am I hit the pavement and ran. 
The longest I have ever run with out stopping. 
I made it a little over 11 miles before I stopped to walk.

And learned that next time I won't stop then (trust me for me it's easier not to stop).

And aside from my calves cramping at 12.5 miles all went pretty well. 
I'm sure anyone who was close behind me when that happened got quite the show...
I know it had to look hilarious! 
Seriously, the way my feet were contorting, it just had to be quite the site. 
But I didn't cry when it happened....even though I wanted to.  Even though I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to keep going.
I stopped, got some water, stretched them out and started back again. 

And shortly there after I crossed the finish line!

Tired, worn out, sweaty but oh so proud of this accomplishment. 

Maybe a marathon will be next...I don't know. 
But I'm one happy girl!
at the end of the race after crossing the finish line!

Monday, March 19, 2012

I'm frustrated

Right now, this very moment I'm frustrated.

Not with a person but with my body.

My heath.

See I'm training for this half marathon. 

I'm so close to the date of the run...March 31st. 

Today, March 19th I need to go and run my 11 miles. 

But I feel horrible. 

My back is just throbbing, my stomach is cramping and I kinda feel like I want to vomit.

Not real conductive for running 11miles.

I just want to sit down and cry.

I've even taken my 4 (800mg) of Ibuprophen.  And still hurt like this.

I'm frustrated now that my body doesn't seem to want to let me do what I want to do.

I just want some answers.

And to be healed.

It's been 2 years now since the problem started and we still don't know what it is.
The pain seems to be getting worse.

Yes I'm switching doctors.
I think this one is done.
She thinks she's tried everything and basically thinks we won't know unless we do a hystromecty.
And neither of us is willing to do that yet.

And she doesn't want to look at some of the things I want to look at. 

So....

I'm getting refered to a Gastro Intestinologist, even though I don't think that we will find anything there.  You never kow though.

And once I get that referal I'm calling a few other doctors to get a 3rd and 4th opinion. 
Someone out there has to be able to help right?

Right?

*** Side note***
I do believe God can and will heal me.
I'm claiming it every day with every pain moment.
I just have to wait for his timing.
And I do believe he has a reason for all of this.
One day hopefully I'll know what that is.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Oh My...

I realize I've left you all hanging for quite some time now on the things that were going on over here. 

Life has just been super busy as always and I didn't have time to make it all work. 

So I let the blog slip a little...again. 

So let me fill you in on things.

Got the results of the mammogram. 
I'm all clear with the exception that I need to do self exams at least twice a month and then if anything new shows up or anything changes to what is there I have to go in right away.
Otherwise I can wait until I'm 40 for the next one.
So big Praise the Lord on that one.

The other stuff...we'll I go in again on the 13th for all of that.
But I am waiting, believing and trusting God for my healing.
I'm doing my best to understand that I don't need to have an answer of what it is to know that He is taking care of it. 
When I have an "attack" I'm speaking against it and believing I'm healed. 

I know what ever happens,that my God is bigger than all of this. 
And that even when I don't know his plans, the whys in all things or what He wants me to learn
I know I can trust Him with all of it. 

And it will all eventually be ok.



Sunday Night Sun Set

Thursday, February 16, 2012

2012...starting off with a BANG.

So far the last month and 15 days have been packed full.


Full of Good things, like...


A quick trip to Vegas over Superbowl weekend
Photography & Photo shop Classes
A Birthday
Good times with Friends

And filled with some not so wonderful things, like....

The dentist, for 2 new fillings
The dermatologist, where I had to have my first biopsy. (thankfully that came back good.)
And more doctor visits. 
I've been to my "female" doctor a few times already this year. 
And I go in for a mammogram on Friday. 

My first one...because we found lumps at the beginning of the year.
Lumps that were still there when I went back again last week. 
I'm 32...only just recently...and I have to have one.

Don't get me wrong. 

I'm glad they aren't just having me wait and see and all that...

A month of waiting was bad enough. 

And it may be nothing. 

But I wonder at times....will it ever stop?

The constant seeing the doctor.

The constant not feeling well.

The constant (daily) pain, nausea, moodiness and feeling tired.

I was always a healthy person. 
I used to get perfect attendance in school, it was something I was very proud of. 
I was NEVER sick. 
In fact the only year I remember not having perfect attendance was when I was in 3rd grade because I got chicken pox. 
Other than that I'm pretty sure I was good.  I don't even remember being sick in High School.

And aside from a few problems in my very early 20s mostly with some cysts everything was fine then as well. 

But since I've turned 30 it's been a crazy ride.  

One I haven't been particularly fond of to be honest. 

Please know I'm not intending to complain here. 

I'm not. 

There is a part of me that knows things could be worse....much much worse.

But I need to try to clear my head of these things.
To see if I can maybe see it from a different angle. 
To understand better. 
Writing it out may not change a thing.
But maybe I'll feel a little better about things. 
Maybe I'll understand a little more. 
Who knows. 

There are certain things I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

Like why is seems some people go through (or even suffer to an extent) so much more than others.  (I don't count myself in with one of them but I know so many people who have gone through more than it seems possible at times).
It doesn’t seem fair to me. 

I know that He promises not to give us more than we can handle but I certainly know I’ve often felt He certainly thinks I can handle more than I think I can. 

Because there is so much I don't understand about this journey. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Stuff Christians Like- Singles Post

John Acuff over at Stuff Christians Like wrote a post on Surviving Church as a Single.

Now he is a pretty funny guy. 

He's written a lot of funny stuff over the years.  Lots of stuff I've enjoyed. 

And he's done it again with a very funny very true post.

This time in honor of Valentine's Day for all of us Single people out there. 

Because I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. 

Nor have I ever been. 

Even the one or two years that I did have someone that I was romantically seeing. 

I didn't like it. 

Why?

Because I think there are too many people out there that are single, or separated or in relationships that aren't working.

As well the fact that I'm pro - "I love you everyday"- not just need to express it in extremes on a day that society has picked for us.

Or maybe it's because I like to "show" love randomly (and have it shown randomly as well),  through out the year.  It seems to mean more to me than HOLIDAY LOVE.

Whatever the reason is for not really caring for Valentine's Day or even if you do like it...

CLICK HERE

It's good for a laugh either way :)