Friday, September 10, 2010

Is it too much to ask?...

Ok, I need to vent, this isn't like a normal post, so I want to issue that warning.

We have one "rule"  in our house, my sister and I.  Just one, everything else is just a guideline. 
You know things like clean up after yourself and all that. 
But when we moved in with one another in February we made one rule.

That rule was- no boys staying over.  Now I'm not talking friends....if we had a male guest that would be one thing. 
I'm talking boyfriends, bed buddies, whatever you want to call them.

Now mind you I want to say this our rental house does not have a split floor plan. 
So her room and my room are not only on the same side of the house, but in fact right across the hall from one another.

I should also say, I am a VERY light sleeper, always have been.  So much so that when the boy and I would nap together, he'd sometimes stop breathing, (yep for real) and it would wake me up.  LITTLE noises that no one else hears wake me.  So having guests in the next room - even if they aren't doing anything - wake me. 
Plus there is the general awkwardness of having to wonder if you're going to run into someone while your in your robe feeding the cat.

I don't like to get fully dressed before I do this, and I do this right after I've taken my shower, so with someone else in the house it makes it a little tough to well relax.
And shouldn't you be able to relax in your own home?

So - I mentioned earlier that my sister got engaged last week.  Which I feel like I'm dealing with better than I did when I first found out. 
But last night I got home late, after going out to see some friends and to hear a friend sing in a band. 
I walk into the house at 12am and there's the fiance sitting on the couch.  Now I knew they would be getting back late from going to see his mom that day,  and I'm ok with that.
But I was a little put out that he was still there when I got home to be totally honest.
And I reacted badly.  Not super badly but I walked in to find him sitting on the couch and I said " So do you live here now?"
Well, my sister heard me and she wasn't really happy with my saying that.
So she starts to yell at mind you- it's 12am.  She makes some lame comment that he's there because they didn't know where I was - I missed ONE phone call that she made at 11:45.
She called once- didn't leave a message, didn't call the other cell phone, didn't text or any of that.  I'm pretty sure I missed it because she called when I was either in the bathroom or singing along with the radio.  But the concern didn't seem real to me. 
And I told her I didn't need a baby sitter and so on.  After all who does she think "watched me" for the year and a half when I lived alone before we lived together and who will do this once she marries???

But then she starts in on the whole I've had a problem with this since it started 5 weeks ago.

Ok- yes I have.  For whatever reason I've had a hard time with this relationship of theirs- of her CONSTANT going on about him and so on.  Right or wrong I have but I've done my best to be supportive and I've done my best to be honest about what I'm feeling with all of it.  I'm REALLY trying in all of it.

She then mentions that in the 5weeks he's only stayed over 5 times!
Now if we have ONE rule- ONE RULE only - and she's broken it once a week- to me that's not a good thing.  To me that says, even though after the first 2 times you came to me and talked to me about how you don't like him staying over- even though it's the one thing you've asked that we not do- I'm going to do it another 3 times.  And act like I'm not breaking the rule or doing anything wrong.  And just expect you to be ok with it.  When obviously you're not.

And honestly when she brought up the 5wk thing I said "5 weeks" a few times- kinda making a point, and yes there was yelling, but I did go back in the living room and apologise to the fiance about the comment- to which he was like come here- sit down patting on the couch and all that.  (Repeatedly).
To which I looked at him and said no- I'm tired and want to go to bed.
Which REALLY! Like I'm going to have  a STRANGER- I don't care if she's engaged to him or not.  Meeting someone a handful of times and spending I don't know 4hrs total with him does not make it so he KNOWS me.    And do all this at 12am???  When I have just a little over 5hrs to get up before I have to be at work in the morning?   Really?

So I left the living room, went in my room and went to bed.  I know he didn't stay last night because his truck was gone when I left the house this morning.  She didn't get up before I left so we didn't get to talk .
She's having people over tonight so I'll make myself scarce this evening and then I have people over tomorrow while she's at a scrapbook thing, so we won't get to talk tomorrow.  And I believe she'll be gone Sunday as well.
Monday night I'm having some of the kids over so we won't get to talk then. 

I'm sure we will get this resolved one way or the other.  It may end up being that I move sooner rather than later.  Hopefully it won't come to that but honestly I just don't know.

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