Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The News...

So last Thursday I had my follow up doctor's appointment. 

The 3rd Thursday in a row that I'd been sitting in that waiting room. 

I was very nervous last week, waiting for the results from the week before.

And then when I finally saw my doctor, she told me that my test results weren't good.

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears right then. 

But I held it together and they sent me over to get blood drawn for more tests right away.

Which lead to waiting until Monday to find out if it was bad news or worse news.

Good thing is- it was only bad news.

The worse news would have been that it was Cancer.  However the numbers are low so she is pretty sure its not cancer.  You know how that is though, they can't 100% tell you its not because then you could probably sue them if it ended up that way.  At least that's my theory.

So just what is going on? 

I have a cyst on my left ovary.  One that has fluid and all that around it. 
One that causes some pretty constant pain.  No it's not horrible most of the time but it's almost always there.
Something I could probably live with.

But it could be an Endometrioma or possibly Hemorrhagic or Dermoid cyst.

So my options are  1. Do a scope to find out more  2. wait and have another ultrasound in 3 months (and keep having them every 3 months till its gone or 3. have the laparocopy done

But with out doing the scope  I won't know really what it is in terms of what it could be- just that its not cancer. 

And while I'm SO HAPPY it's not the Big C I don't like not knowing. 

So I decided to do the scope, if for no other reason than all this could end up causing other issues (like infertility, the pain could worsen etc.) and I don't want to wait and find out later that maybe waiting wasn't the best idea. 

So Monday I go in for the scope, my doc also mentioned that if it's the endometrioma and it's possible to get it out easily or if they find other clusters they will go ahead and burn them out.  Which I'm not so fond of considering that could mean losing the ovary completely (that's one thing she has mentioned).  But knowing that I had a cyst on my uterus the first check up and then I've also had pain on the right side I think that something is going on in there that I'm not a big fan of.  

And while I don't think I ever want to have my own children (I've wanted to adopt for a LONG time) I'm stubborn enough as well to know that I want to keep my options if I can.  Plus I'd hate to neglect my health and lose something that might possibly be important to my future husband (whoever that may be).   

But I think even though there are risks involved in the procedure that this is the right route to go.

I do know that no matter what happens God IS in control.  He will bring me through all this and all will work out to His good. 

Thank you all for praying for me and for all your encouragement this past week.  Life seems more than crazy right now with everything going on but even though I haven't met most of you, your community fellowship means the world to me. 


S.I.F. said...

My cysts have all been endometriomas, and my original appointments I was actually told they thought I had ovarian cancer because there were SO many and my CA 125 levels were actually quite high (which is common with endometriosis, especially at the stage I'm at).

All that to say, I've been there. If you need someone to talk to about what's to come, I'm here....

Leanna said...

Thank you Leah!
I appreicate that more than words can say. It sounds like my doc suspects there to be more in there than the one we found on the Usound, and I know she found one on my uterus the 1st check plus I'm pretty sure that it's going on, on the right one as well since I have pain on that side at times too.
I'm trying to banish the what ifs right now so maybe talking (or emailing) would be good.