Thursday, January 12, 2012

I don't know what I want

I had lunch with a dear friend of mine from YWAM yesterday. 
She was my roomie for those months we were there back in 2001. 
We had an instant connection.  Even though there is a year or two separating our ages, and even though she is now married (to one of our classmates) and has 3 kids, we still get along really well.
I love death as they like to say around here.
She and I have lived in the same town for a few years now, and we haven't done a good job at getting together very often these last few years.  Though we probably saw each other more in the last several months than we ever have. 
She's moving though, by Saturday of next week she and her family will be gone. 
Moving to Washington State.
He husband got a job working on the airplanes he has always wanted to work on.
His dream job. 
And his dream job allows her to have her dream job- stay at home wife and home school her children.
I am so happy for them- even though it means they will be leaving here. 
How wonderful to be able to have your dream job. 

Yesterday after lunch while we were having coffee, she asked me what I wanted to do.
And you know what....
I don't have an answer.

Where do I want to go?
What do I want to do?
All that. 

Aside from the fact that I really would like to marry- I just don't know what I want to do right now. 

I know I'm slightly bored where I work. 
I don't feel challenged where I currently am. 
I LOVE the people I work with and know that I'm very good at my job, I make good money and all that considering I don't have a degree, but still....
Is that enough?

I love my youth kids, but feel worn and weary at my Wednesday/Sunday church.
Is there more for me out there?  In the church or outside of it?

So, I'm thinking now,
What do I want to do?

Praying about it.
Seeking the Lord....What do you want me to do?
Stay, Go, Move, Wait....

Because honestly I don't know what I want to do.

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