Friday, April 15, 2011

Don't Count Your Chickens...




(courtesy of Google Images)

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But do count your blessings.  That's one thing this negativity fast has been pressing on me.  I know I'm much more positive when I'm focusing on the good versus focusing on the bad things. 

These past few weeks the Jam with the Faith Barista has been in regards to Joy.
As most of you know if you've been following my posts for a year or so last year was a rough year.
This year wasn't starting out to well either to be honest. 

With hospital bills coming in from surgery in November,  other doctor bills, getting ready for the sister's wedding, things with the new boy not working out, the Ex bothering me again, and even more issues with my heath, 2011 wasn't shaping up to be a good year either. 

I was struggling with all of it.  Though I can say I wasn't struggling anywhere near as badly as I was last year.  Even though at a glance things certainly seem worse then they did then. 

My perspective shifted though,  I may still be surrounded by the rain clouds, I may still be in the mist of a storm season, but I know I'm not going through it alone this time. 

Not that I was really alone last time since God promises not to leave or forsake us. (Deut. 31:8)
But I was so "clouded" by my sin and selfishness and shame last time that I couldn't see it.  That I wasn't sure I wanted to see it.  Because that would mean He had seen me the whole time.  A thought that even though I know is true sickens me still sometimes.  A feeling that I think is a good thing now though, because disappointing Him should sicken me. 

Sometimes we think we have lost hope or lost our joy.  That we are going through these tough times alone, sometimes all we can see is our hurt or our struggle.
And sometimes we don't understand the why of all of it.  Why God would allow us to hurt, by our choosing or not by our choosing, I don't think it matters...we still often question why we hurt. 

Most of you know I've been "in love" with this song for a while.  Ever since I heard it MONTHS ago. 
I immediately went out to get the CD.  Found out it wasn't realised till this past Tuesday, (bought it yesterday) and every time I hear it in my car I turn the sound up, even when I'm in someone else's car I'll usually stop the conversation and turn their radio up. 
It's been that impactful to me. 
I love the words,

BLESSINGS by Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace, comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, prosperity, we pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering.

While all the while you hear each spoken need.  Yet love us way to much to give us lesser things.

Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near. 
What if trials of this life are mercies in disguise.

We pray for wisdom, your voice to hear, we cry in anger when we can not feel you near we doubt your goodness we doubt your love as if every promise from your word is not enough.

While all the while you hear each desperate plea. Long that we'd have faith to believe.

Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near.

What if trials of this life are mercies in disguise.

Friends betray us, When darkness seems to win we know, the pain reminds this heart that this is not
THIS IS NOT OUR HOME.

Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near.

WHAT IF MY GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OR THE ACHING OF THIS IS THE REVEALING OF A GREATER THIRST THIS WORLD CAN'T SATISFY. 

WHAT IF TRIALS OF THIS LIFE THE RAIN THE STORMS THE HARDEST NIGHTS,
ARE YOUR MERCIES IN DISGUISE.

I typed it out to really get the full impact of the song, to really have to listen to it.  Even though I know it mostly by heart these days.  The little variation in the chorus even speaks to me. 

To me this song is the Lord speaking Joy (as well as Hope, Peace, Rest, & Love) to me, to my heart.
It truly brings my thoughts back to him, back to the fact that He knows all, sees all, and love me more than I can comprehend.  And being loved like that fills me with joy overflowing. 

Psalm 5:11
But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

I may still weep, I may still struggle, but I know in my heart that no matter what trials this life may bring,be they trials by my hand or by his, he's not leaving me.  He's there and I can learn from it and will have joy in the end if my trust is in him. 

Psalm 30:5 For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

So if you're struggling hang on, turn to him.  Maybe you're struggling because He has something for you.  A GREATER thing than you can imagine.  I know I may still wrestle with things in this life like my current health struggles, but I know His hand is in all things.  Besides what is my stressing (or yours) going to do to help the situation?

If you want to listen to the song again click HERE .


1 comment:

Bonnie Gray said...

Hi Leanna, I'm so happy you're sharing your journey with me and the community over at Faith Barista. Sometimes, there is just no way around the bad stuff (!) .. :) ... just got to get through it and what a diff. it makes to know we are not alone and that we have others who understand.