I'm not ready...

We are now 3 days out from the trip. 
I say 3 because Monday is pretty much over and then we leave Friday morning at 8 am so it doesn't get to count as a day. 

And I'm not ready.  I haven't packed.  I haven't even gotten everything that I need. 
I don't feel ready.  I feel ...well, crazy kinda. 
I know it will all come together.  It always does.
And I'm trying not to stress.  But it's hard. 

A friend asked if I was excited about the trip.  Right now I'm not.  Not will all this left to do. 
but I so very much look forward to it.
It getting away from life as I currently know it. To stepping away from me.
To stepping toward God again.  In a real, physical, tangable way. 
I look forward to reaching out to those around me, the nationals that need us, that need God. 
And I look forward to reaching my hands up to Him, for Him to heal my heart. To heal my soul.
Yes the situation I've been in was of my own making.  But thank God that He is not a God that leaves us to wallow in the mud.  He is willing to help us out of it if we ask...heck he's willing to help us even if we don't ask. 
And He loves us, you & me both, regardless of the stupid things we do. 

I asked a friend for some good scripture to help me with my frame of mind for the trip. 
This is one of the ones he sent me. 
I hope you enjoy it and that it touches your heart like it did mine. 

Wouldn't the world be  a better place if we all lived like this?  Wouldn't we be much better people if we did?  I want to....

Romans 12:9 21 the message

9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.