ugh...tonight

Tonight's the night...

The Blind Date

And I have finally hit the point where I'm nervous.

Yep, right around noon today that hit.

And I'm almost to the point where I would really like to call and cancel. 

I won't because that would be rude but that doesn't change the fact that  a big part of me would still cancel.

Or even possibly be happy if he did.

Ugh...I hate this stuff.

So I agreed...

(courtesy of Google Images)

I agreed to go out with the boy who some friends wanted to "fix me up with".

Honestly I don't really want to go.

And while I do kinda feel bad about feeling that way I decided I'm going to go.

If for no other reason than the fact that it should at least close that door.

A door I've been prying open for well over the last 8 weeks now.

And when I say prying that's what I mean.

See this guy has been calling/texting me since my sister's wedding. 

Which was in April.  Mid April.

He took his sweet time in asking me out, which is fine, I understand that.
But then when he finally asked me out he did it in a text...which while I'm all for technology these days that doesn't score ANY brownie points with me.
Top it off with the fact that he asked basically like this "so when are you going to not be so busy so I can take you out?"
Nice right? 
Maybe I'm overly critical but honestly I don't want to feel like I'm not an inconvenience for you.

And truth be told, I've been honest with everyone, friends and family, that it's going to take someone special to get me to slow down.  In other words you're going to have to be "worth it" for that to happen.

Because for the most part I love my life, or at least love my activities. 
And if you're not going to stick around anyhow then why should I rearrange my schedule.

But I'm being nice, I'm giving the guy a shot because after talking to our mutual friend he may just need to be given a break.  Apparently he's shy and has a hard time with stuff like this. 
So I'm going to be nice and not hold that against him. 

But I will say I don't have high hopes, because after agreeing to go out with him last week it took him a week to get back with me on when we would go out (next Tuesday).  And then he basically wouldn't just pick where we were going to dinner.  Even after I told him I wasn't picky and hated picking.  A very large part of me wanted to tell him to MAN UP.  Geeze, I'm indecisive on my own I want a guy who can pick a place for our first date by himself.  After I tell you I'm ok with whatever that's your cue to make a decision.

All this was via text too. 

*Sigh- so I'm not really looking forward to Tuesday.  But oh well.

Painting pictures of Egypt

This song came to my mind yesterday.  Some moments I feel this way lately. 

Blah

Do you ever have "Blah" days?

Days that aren't bad days, days that aren't good days, days that just seem to be.

Filled of nothing really important or unimportant.

Today is one of those days for me.

It's not a bad day.

It's just another day.

One where I've thought to myself, I wish I wasn't here (meaning work) but then again I don't think I'd want to be at home if I were home. 

So it's just "blah".

So I'm trying to focus in on the whole thing of

 "this is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

But honestly I'm just not feeling it.

Not that I feel down and depressed or anything, because I don't.

I just kinda feel numb. 

So there I am.

Know that if these posts seem random for awhile I'm sorry...I'm just trying to make myself write, either here or in my journal.  Sometimes I don't know if things will make sense or seem right but I'm not going to worry about that.  I'm choosing to contiue on this journey.  On this path, where ever it may lead. 
I'm just not sure where that is right now.

Not sure where to start

It's been almost a month since I've blogged.

I've wanted to blog many times in that last month but the times when I had something to say I didn't have time to say it. :o(

And then there have been the many times I just didn't feel I had anything to say. 
Which is kinda odd for me.

But it's been busy, even more so than normal I think...I say I think because I don't really know of a time when I can remember when I wasn't busy.

And I've been distracted with a lot on my mind these days. 
But I haven't been able to put most of those things into words.

I wish I could say it was all good but I can't honestly say that.

Some days  I feel very lost. 

Yet even in those lost moments I know where my foundation is. 

So I'm trying to rest, relax and wait. 

While enjoying myself and trying to not stress on right or wrong.

And trying to slow down a bit. 

Doctors orders, which is probably good since I'd most likely not do that on my own.

Life is BUSY...

Really anyone who knows me knows how true that statement is.

I'm a planner.

Actually I'm probably more of an over planner in most cases.

My weeknights are booked pretty much every evening, and my weekends, well,  let's just say when I have a totally free weekend it's a very rare occourance.  And that rarely happens.

But I like my life.  Busy as it is.  Even if it means I fall a little behind sometimes here at the blog.
(Of course the internet problems at home really, really don't help). 

So this post is about a week behind but I still wanted to share. 

See I had my YWAM (Youth With A Mission) DTS (Discipleship Training School) 10 year reunion last weekend. 
And we had a BLAST!
Not all of us were able to attend, but given that 7(not counting the spouses & children) out of the 18 of us in our class were there I think that was  a pretty good turn out. 
And it was SO SO nice to visit with everyone, catch up on the lives of one another and see how we are all doing. 
It was a very reality type filled time, even if our days at YWAM weren't so reality filled. 
No offense meant to the structure but living in a "bubble" for 6 months (or a year if you did the next school) isn't very realistic. 
Though I wouldn't really change much of anything from that year since I walked away with friends who I'm still very close with and love very dearly.  And was able to spend almost a year with God, drawing closer to him and doing mission work. 

So we caught up with one another and totally decided that we aren't going to wait another 10 yrs for a reunion.  We are going to shoot for next year or the year after.  Who knows maybe then we will get everyone there!

An Oppertunity to Encourage

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 

Sassy & Sophisticated- 10 Premium Greeting Card Assortment

(http://store.dayspring.com/)

Honestly though one of my favorite things to do is give or send cards.

I'm a BIG card person.

I like to mail them for Birthdays, Holiday, and no reason at all.

It's nice for people to get mail.  I know that may times all people get is junk or bills - at least that's how my box works.  But getting a letter or a card is just nice.

Plus sometimes I'll send one and I'll get a text or email from the person a few days later letting them know how much it meant and how timely it was.  Because they needed the encouragement.

Honestly it can be awkward at times too, when encouraging someone.

Just last week I had gotten my review packet of cards from Dayspring.

And I was SO excited about them. 

I had "plans" for these cards since the opportunity to review was presented.

And some sometimes God has plans that we weren't aware of.

See I had planned to send a card or two to some friends, ones who were going through a bit of a rough time.  And then on Saturday the 4th as I was on my way to church I was rear ended.  Which caused me to be late for service.  And I ended up parking somewhere I never usually park. 

After church I was walking to my car when I noticed one of the younger ladies that attends our Monday night Bible Study.  She was right in the path on the way to my car, so I stopped and talked to her, to see how she was.  Come to find out a few days before she had been in a car accident as well.  But her car was totaled. 

Thankfully aside from a few bumps, bruises and scrapes on her she was ok as were her 3 kids. 

But something in her eyes even as she was smiling touched my heart. 

And when I got home and saw the package of cards from Dayspring I knew. 

There was one in there for her. 

Sure enough there was.

So I got it ready for Monday night. 

And after we discussed our lesson from the previous week I turned around and handed it to her.

We had our "closing Party" for the end of the study that night so I headed back to where the food was.

Noticing shortly after that she wasn't in the room. But knowing she's a single mom of 3 I figured she had left.

But when I went to leave, walking though the church there she was.

Tear stained, talking with one of the older ladies in the church, and she came up and gave me a hug.

The older lady told me later on that the card meant so much to her.

That she is trying to keep her head up and be positive but right now it's hard. 

Her family isn't saved. And aren't supportive in all these things. 

She now has no car.

So she's very stressed.

The card meant more to her than I could have ever intended.

Sometimes you never know what God is going to use to speak to encouragement to someone.

Honestly I love to encourage people I really do.

Because I want to help people.

I like to help them feel better.

Even if they aren't going through a rough time.

Sometimes when someone who wasn't doing good but is doing good currently I like to encourage them.

Or if they are going though a rough time I like to help lift them up.

Many times I've heard people say that they want to help some one but don't know what they would say to them. Or don't know what to do.

Many times in my adult life I've found that when it comes to encouragement having those "right words" matter very little.

The big thing is to speak out, to let that person know that you care.

Some times that's a gentle pat.

A hug.

A shoulder to cry on.

A prayer.

Or Even a Card.

**Please know that DaySpring did give me the free product to review but all opinions stated are my own. I've bought many of the cards in the packet that I received before along with may other DaySpring cards.  They are truly great cards to give for any occasion.