Thursday, June 9, 2011

I couldn't do it...or so I thought.

This week, this morning the subject at hand from the Faith Barista for our Theursday bloggings was to talk about "Finding the One".
And when I opened my email and saw Bonnie's subject Never Been Kissed: When You Wonder If You’ll Ever Find “The One” I thought "I just can't do this today".

Not because I shy away from the subject, generally speaking I have no issue with all of that.
Normally it's something I enjoy encouraging people (ok, girls more than anyone) in, that they will find that person, that God does have someone for them, that he's better than what they probably imagine, but that he'll also be human. 

But it's been a raw week, with constant and consistant pain.  Physical pain. 

And then add to it that I've had a wedding every weekend for the last 4 weekends.  Three of which were "work" weddings, so I'm still looking, sorting and editing through probably at least a thousand wedding photos now. 
So the whole, "LOVE THING" has me a little worn out. 
And I'm pretty sure at this point I don't ever want a wedding (I do want the marriage just not the wedding).

Plus I don't know if I believe in the whole thing of "The One". 
Obviously I haven't found "My One" if that's how things work. 

I do have faith that the right person will come along in the right time. 
I just don't know when that will be.

I do know I need to trust God in this process. 
(Just like every other process)
And wait for him. 
And Trust him. 
That he will bring that person. 
(Or take the desire for me to marry away though at 31 I think if that were going to be the case it would have happened by now).

For now though I will wait as patiently as possible. 
And buy as many shoes as I'd like since there is no husband to tell me no.

Psalm 27:14
New King James Version

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

I don't know what it is about this picture, the one that just happened to be taken by chance in Costa Rica as we were standing at a gate hiding from the rain, waiting out the storm and waiting for the car to arrive. 
Everytime I see this picture I'm reminded that just like the path here where we can't see around the bend, life is often like that.  We can't see around the bend in our own lives, but we are blessed with someone who does see the whole picture and knows exactly what is around that bend. 



dunlizzie said...

Great post. Glad you could do it :) I know what you mean about the whole wedding thing, just me a groom a pastor and fresh field full of flowers I say! But yes, sister, for now we trust Him. And wait. And trust. By the way, I love the picture. It reminds me of Africa. Even before I read the text following I had paused to just take it in, it also spoke to me about never knowing what lies ahead, but look at the beauty, surely what lay ahead will be good. That is our God. That despite the struggles and pain, He has for us Good.

"For now though I will wait as patiently as possible.
And buy as many shoes as I'd like since there is no husband to tell me no."

Absolutely! Keep Rockin'friend!

Alyssa Rose said...

Wow, Leanna, I really love the concept/message that you gave behind the picture form Costa Rica. It is so beautiful!

Could I get your permission to use it as my background on my computer?

I hope that today you are feeling better! You are in my thoughts and prayers, Girl!

Sheryl said...

Thanks for writing. I haven't blogged lately . . . I was hacked, and then busier than I've been in almost a year, and now my Mom is really sick and in the hospital . . . all that to say when I opened my email and saw today's Faith Jam topic, I thought, "I can't do that." I know exactly where you started. Thanks for writing.

S.I.F. said...

I'm sorry friend. I love you and your heart and I know your "one" is out there. Saying up a little prayer that he finds his way to you sooner than later...

A Joyful Noise said...

All three of my daughter were in their 30's when they found true love. Another missionary single friend, found her husband late in life. He was a widower who needed a wife and Alice fit the bill. She continued to minister among the Indians in Canada, and she spent many happily married years with Charley.

Don't rule out "the one." He may be out there soon. SO be open to God's plan always.