Thursday, May 5, 2011

Mom and such

I'm not a mom, not yet, not legally at least. 

I've been called mom before -- many times actually. 

I "adopt" the kids on our mission trips.  Look out for them, check on them, see how they feel when they are sick, go on the nurses calls even in most cases, as well as talk with them if they seem quiet and try to bring the shy ones out of their shells during our time in country. 
It's evolved into the point of checking on them when via email or even phone calls when we are back in the states (most don't live in my state), driving 2 hrs to see a play they are in or attend a graduation party, or now that some are in college and going to a school about 30min from my home- cooking dinners and hosting movie nights for them. 

And I have my youth kids, ones I want to be there for as much as I can be.  To care for, to nurture, to help them become the person that God desires them to be.  To help them grow into Godly men and women for seek Him and follow Him all the days of their lives.

It's something I really enjoy, and I think some day if God allows, I'd be a very good mom. 
Even if at this current stage of life I wonder if I want to be a mom in the normal mom sense of the word. 

Being a mom seems like such a big task to me. 
Overwhelming at times when I look at it but I do think it has to be one of the most rewarding titles a gal could have.

I have been very blessed to have a fabulous mother.  One who loves me no matter what, no matter how many times we bump heads or argue or anything she's still pretty great. 

And I realize more and more how blessed I am to have such a great family. 

I see so often these days, especially in my own youth group, how few "good" parents there are these days.
Please know that I'm not trying to make a judgment here on parents.  I know not being a parent I don't have much room to talk nor do I know what it's like.  Factor in that each child is different and therefor brings it's own set of issues in parenting to the equation and I really have no place to judge and wouldn't even if I did have "my own" kiddos.  Because I'm not in your shoes so I don't know. 

But at the same time I still see a lot of a lack of parenting. 
Where many times parents aren't in the picture at all.
And I wonder how this can be?
I know these kids, granted I may only see them a few times a week but what I see I can't understand why a mom (or dad) wouldn't have much of anything to do with her children.
And what kind of answer can I give these kids?
While I know God has a plan for them I don't know the full story behind the why, when a parent isn't in their life. 
I know that they are worth it. 
God knows that they are worth it.

I just wish there was a way to take their heartbreak, their sadness and all those feelings of not being wanted by their own parent away. 
I want them to know they are loved. 
It breaks my heart to see them hurt. 
Even if I'm not their real mother. 

So I may not have children legally but my heart certainly does.


Caroline said...

I understand a bit about what you mean by feeling like you are a mom in a way. Prior to actually becoming a mother, I was a teacher. I regularly referred to the students as "my kids." We all have at least a bit of that nurturing, mothering heart in us, I believe (whether one welcomes and taps into it or not is different).

It sounds like perhaps God is using you to let these kids you're around know that they are loved. Through you, because of God.

Nice to meet you through the Faith Jam.

TulipGirl said...

A friend beautifully described how our children are not just part of our our family, but are also our brothers and sisters in Christ, and part of the larger church family. God really has put other adults in our children's lives for their good and growth. I think of the adults who invested in me, affirmed me. . . and I really had fabulous parents.

But also, as a mother, I do screw up. Drives me to my knees. Keeps me repenting. . . keeps me dependent upon God. And so, imperfect parents? (Beyond that, parents who royally screw up. . .) Sometimes are what God uses to model the Gospel and grace. . . Mommy needs Jesus as much as the kiddos do. . .

Thank you for giving of yourself in this way.. .

Bonnie Gray said...

Leanna, like you said, you are a mom to these kids. Esp. the ones whose parents are not involved and in the picture. I'm praying God blesses you, as you minister to these kids by just opening your heart. You are nurturing them and that is what a mother does. I'm so glad you shared in the jam! And what a blessing to have a loving mother!