I'm not ready...

We are now 3 days out from the trip. 
I say 3 because Monday is pretty much over and then we leave Friday morning at 8 am so it doesn't get to count as a day. 

And I'm not ready.  I haven't packed.  I haven't even gotten everything that I need. 
I don't feel ready.  I feel ...well, crazy kinda. 
I know it will all come together.  It always does.
And I'm trying not to stress.  But it's hard. 

A friend asked if I was excited about the trip.  Right now I'm not.  Not will all this left to do. 
but I so very much look forward to it.
It getting away from life as I currently know it. To stepping away from me.
To stepping toward God again.  In a real, physical, tangable way. 
I look forward to reaching out to those around me, the nationals that need us, that need God. 
And I look forward to reaching my hands up to Him, for Him to heal my heart. To heal my soul.
Yes the situation I've been in was of my own making.  But thank God that He is not a God that leaves us to wallow in the mud.  He is willing to help us out of it if we ask...heck he's willing to help us even if we don't ask. 
And He loves us, you & me both, regardless of the stupid things we do. 

I asked a friend for some good scripture to help me with my frame of mind for the trip. 
This is one of the ones he sent me. 
I hope you enjoy it and that it touches your heart like it did mine. 

Wouldn't the world be  a better place if we all lived like this?  Wouldn't we be much better people if we did?  I want to....

Romans 12:9 21 the message

9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Daily Bible Verse Inspiration

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. – Proverbs 25:20

Today’s commentary by:
Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org

Sometimes quick answers are the worse thing to offer when people are going through a hard time.

In well meaning attempts to lift someone’s spirits, we move too fast. It would seem ridiculous to visit someone who has just experienced major surgery and try to pull them out of the hospital bed to get them to exercise.

In the same way, sometimes people need the space to grieve for a while. To try to bypass a heavy heart can add more pain to the process. Sometimes the best thing that we can do is to weep when they weep, or just sit with them in silence. The comfort comes not in our cheerful songs, but our presence.

Ok, I  get the Daily Bible verse to my inbox EVERY day.  Some days the words just seem to leap from the page. I even love the commentary today.

the phrase talking about pulling someone from the hospital bed paints such a great word picture that NO one could miss.

And so often when we are sitting in church or just going about our "normal" christian lives we think it's not ok to feel pain. That there is something wrong with us when we do.
I know I have thought that about my self on more than one occoasion. 
And I know that had to have come from somewhere.  Maybe the devil, maybe the church.  I'm not really sure.

I remember being in YWAM about 10 years ago and working through someone else's pain.  I remember telling her as she was crying, that "this is what God gave us shoulders for".  And today when I read this I remembered that.  And can't help but think that's really what they are for.

Since God did not give us shoulders to carry our own burdens...HE's the one that told us that....but we can help carry the burdens of others.  We can use our shoulders to dry the tears of another, to allow them to rest their weary head, to bring comfort and compassion. To love and care for another.  

Which really is a better use for them than carrying our own burdens, don't ya think? :) 

Galatians 6:2NKJV)
2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

I'm Trying...

Right now I'm trying.

Trying to make it through each day.

Trying to remember that there is grace that is sufficent.

Trying to remember that He won't give us more than we can handle.

I'll be honest, life has been a struggle lately.

I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm worn.

And most of that is my fault.

My fault because of my choices.

I don't think this is the path that He would have laid for me.  But it is a path I choose to walk.

The future seems uncertain. 

Sometimes it feels dark.

Sometimes it feels unwalkable.

But sometimes it screams, follow the hard road, it will lead you back.

Back to your first love.

Back to your true love.

Back to the one that never stopped loving you.

Even when you walked away, and turned down the other path. 

He was here...

Waiting...

Calling...

Loving...

Hopeing for your return.

No the road now may not get easy, it may stay hard for a long time.

You may have to face consiquesnces for your choices. 

But in the end...

It will be alright. 

No matter what happens. 

He will make a way. 

IF...If you follow Him, TRUST Him, Allow Him ...

To be the source...

The Guide....

The Hope....

The Light...

The One- THE ONLY one...

You give your Life and your heart to.

Till the time comes and he says...OK...

This is good. 

This is right...

This is who...

Then it will be safe to give your heart.

But it will be a heart after His.  So it will be safe.  Secure.  True.

RIGHT

And the 2 will walk the path together. 

The path that leads to Him. 

 

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it."
Matthew 7:13-14

tired and worried

Tonight I'm pretty tired. We did a Habitat Build for Habitat for Humanity again today.
We went from around 7:30 to 2:30. 
I pretty much hammered the entire time we were there. 
My arms hurt.
My wrist hurts.
I have blisters. - I think  the count is up to 3 now. 
But we had a blast!!!
And we are helping someone.
So no matter how many blisters
No matter how tired
No matter how sore my arms are
It's all worth it.

Now the worry part...there are weeds by the build site.
And  tonight even though I've showered and all that, I feel itchy.
Did I mention that I'm VERY allergic to poison Ivy? 
Here's hopeing that I don't wake up covered in it tomorrow.

Have a great weekend everyone!

HELP- I'm going to go Crazy...

So I should start out telling you the good news!  I adopted this weekend.

SO I now have a new baby.  Not a human baby, but a furry baby.

I decided it was time to get another cat, and it worked out perfectly since one of our local animal shelters was running a cat/kitten adoption special.  Free- which means no adoption fees- and it includes spay/neutering, shots, microchip, and a vet visit.

All in all a pretty good deal since once you get the pet home they cost even more $$$$!

This is Tucker. He's 12wks old.

I think Tucker is pretty great.  He's very affectionate, lovable, sweet and all those things you'd associate with a kitten. There's one problem.  He likes to Meow...A LOT!

I've read that it's because they want attention, and I can see that, some of the time but other times he'll climb off your lap and then start meowing.  It doesn't make sense. 

It's the worst in the morning once he knows you're up.  Then he doesn't want you out of his sight.  Which doesn't work well for me since I have to get ready for work and all that.  I should mention that he's not allowed in my bedroom.  Maybe once he's older he'll be allowed in there but right now I don't want him getting into anything he shouldn't be in.  And he won't be sleeping in the bed, ever.  That's just how I roll. 

But this meowing, I'm not sure how to fix it.  When he's with me, like on my lap or next to me when he does it I'll tap him.  but when he's across the room I don't think that he'll know what I'm swatting him for once I get over there.  And it goes against what most sites tell you to do, which is ignore them. 

So I'm not 100% sure how to get this behavior corrected but I know it's something that has to change.  It's driving me and my sister crazy!!!!  

I think for the time being I'll go to Walmart and see if I can find a squirt bottle.  Something that can shoot across the room.  Maybe that will help him figure out that this isn't something he can continue to do. Fingers crossed that it actually works.

How hard can it be...

So I made a promise, I promised that I would get some mace.

For when I run.  Especially when I run alone.  

Because that's the safe thing to do.

And I talked with my running buddy she mentioned that she's thought about getting some as well.

After all we are both girls.  We run in some wooded areas, most of the time it's probably pretty safe but there is always the possibility that someone could come along when it's late in the run and we would be really tired or they could come along when we were on the more secluded part of the trail, and let's face it it just isn't very safe.

And after all I made a promise. I said I would. 

But I'm having a hard time.  I can't find the right kind.

That's right there is more than one type of mace.

See you have mace that is for joggers/runners.  It comes in the nice little containers with the right kind of lids so if you fall you don't accidentally spray yourself.  So it's something you want.

   But the other thing you need to keep in mind is a breeze or wind.  you have a bit of a breeze going when you spray that thing and you can end up spraying it in your own face which defeats the purpose.  So you want to get a mace gel or foam.

So ideally you want the gel or foam so you don't end up spraying yourself.

Can I find that????...No of course not.  

:o( So for now I'm holding off...I'll see what I can find.  Maybe see if I can contact a police officer or someone would would know where I could find it.  

If you know where I can get it send me a message or a link please. 

After all I made a promise and it's my turn to hold up my end of the bargain.