Wednesday, August 18, 2010

happy for her....

So my older sister (who I live with) has started seeing someone new.

Which is a good thing.  And I'm very happy for her.


that's right there's a but... come on now you knew it was coming.

I am SO tired of hearing about him already.

He's a nice guy, at least from everything I can tell, and he seems to really care.

And while I worry that they are moving to fast and that she should slow down, in the grand scheme of things that doesn't really matter.

But she goes on, and on, and on about him.  And what he said and what he did and how nice he is and all that. 

And I'm happy for I really am.  And I really mean that.  After all I'm the sister that has always said that I want her to marry first, since she's the oldest sister I think that's more fair. It's what I've always wanted. 

But this week, just isn't a good time for me to hear all about it.
And to be honest, I am a little sad, because right now it seems as if everyone has someone but me (and yes I know that's really not how things are).  

But we are suppose to have dinner together tomorrow night.  Her and my other sister and her husband and then another family friend and her boyfriend.  Oh and me.

That's right myself...the lone single person.

And I'll be honest, I just don't want to.

I feel raw this week.  (probably because I saw the Ex this weekend-which always makes me sad anymore. Probably because we have a REALLY great time together)
And dinner with a bunch of couples...that just seems to hard. 
So maybe it's wrong for me to do this. But I think I may, maybe, just maybe go home after work, grab my gym clothes and go work it out.  Or maybe do a little shopping or something. 
I just know I don't want to be there.  To see what everyone else has but me. 
And maybe that sounds like I'm having a pitty party but honestly right now I don't care. 
I just don't want to hurt like that.

I just have to figure out how I'm going to get out of going to dinner at my own house and not come home to find everyone still there. 


Alyssa Rose said...

Wow! I feel very close to how you are feeling. However, it isn't my sister but my best friend who is just like a little sister to me. :) Yup. I am so incredibly happy for her! "BUT" do I feel left out? You bet ya! The thing is, I am learning what grace is, what it means to put others first is, and loving with an unselfish love. It is supper hard for me to do but like you, I want my best friend to be happy! :) I'll be praying for you! Blessings,
Alyssa Rose

Leanna said...

Thank you SO much! It is really nice to know that someone feels the same way and knows that I really am happy for her as well.