Monday, September 26, 2011

What We (well, actually ME) Fear.

They have asked us to blog on what we fear over at Incourage, to kind of tie in with Angie Smith's new book "What Women Fear".  (the post is here ).  I'm really looking forward to reading this book, to learn some things, and hopefully find some grace in it. 

I don't fear death (really-honestly I'm not affarid to die), or going to places like Afganastan or somehting like that.  There's a part of me that longs for both of those things.

One thing I struggle in Fear in my life kinda boils down to wanting things. 

It can be a varity of things, wheather it is a new job, growth in my current job, growth in my personal endevors (like my photography), firendships, or even in meeting someone and settling down. 

I fear those things and often don't even realize that I'm doing it.   

I know that there is a part of me in those that feels like I'm not good enough,  not capable, or loved. 
The devil ceratinaly plays up on those things. 

Be it a tiff with a friend, a promotion of someone else, some one prefering the work of another, or even when it comes down to guys, their lack of attention (in the long run). 

I often think to myself why would they want me. 

Which yes I know is crazy. 
But they are often the thoughts that still run through my head. 
Right or Wrong.

I do know that I must take these thoughts captive and reafferm that they are indeed lies.

Somedays though that is easier than other days. 

Somedays all I want is to be loved and affirmed. 

For someone to say I really am worth the effort because most days I feel like I'm very not worth is. 

So that's my fear, and here's to letting go of all of that and embracing the truth of what God says about me.

Psalm 139:14
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Jeremiah 31:3
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.


Jennifer said...

Leanne, you are not alone in this. That has been such a struggle for me as well. I want what I want for the good or bad. For me, it's normally a battle of the flesh refusing to submit to the sovereignty of God. It's a hard thing! Thanks for sharing, Leanne!

S.I.F. said...

I think you and I are very similar in what we fear... I know for me, a lot of the fear is in worrying that I have done something in my past that will keep those things I yearn for from my future. I definitely hear you on this one!