Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sometimes it's the little things

This weekend is our Women's Encounter. 
That's what most would call a Women's retreat.  But since we aren't all about relaxing and more about learning we call it the encounter.  At least that's my understanding as to why we call it that. 
This is my first one. 
Since this is the one with the new church. 
The Saturday night church.
I signed up waaaaaaayyyyyy back in March to go. 
Back when another girl I'd known for a while was going too. 
She's not going now. 
And while I'm looking forward to the weekend and learning and all that I'm very

See I don't really know the women at this church. 
I know of them but I don't know them.

I used to work with the lead singer on the worship team and I know she'll be there but even in the 9+ months of my going to this church regularly almost every Saturday night, she and I just haven't reconnected.
And with out meaning to sound judgmental I honestly don't think she wants too.
That's just the vibe I get from her.

So I'm going.  Friday afternoon.  To a weekend full of ladies that I don't know.
And part of me is scared to death.
It's the whole thing of what if no one talks to me?
(No I don't think that will really happen)
What if no one wants to sit by me at dinner (breakfast or lunch)?
(No I don't think that will really happen either)
What if, what if, what if....
The list really could keep going. 

I'm not even taking my car.  The small group leader for my group called last night and we are car pooling so no matter how things turn out in things I'm stuck there.
Which don't get me wrong, may be for the best since I don't have to worry about my ability to "run away" should things get rough. 

I know deep down it's all going to be ok.
But sometimes it's the little things that scare the crap out of me.


S.I.F. said...

I hope it turned out even better than you could have hoped lady!

Leanna said...

Thanks hun, it was fablous. Just trying to gather all the thoughts to be able to post again.