Love languages

So I just finished reading the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.

I decided to start reading this after the new guy asked me how I give and receive love on our last date.
I had thought I'd read the book before. I'd certainly discussed it before.
But when it came down to it and he was asking me about it I didn't know much about it.
I was pretty sure I knew how I gave love according to the 5. But I had no idea how I receive love.
Truth be told. I think I have a pretty hard time receiving it.
And I told him as much. But it made me curious.
So I bought the book. It took me just a little over 2 weeks to read it. It really only took that long since we had all the holiday things going on.
I think I would have had it finished sooner of not for that.

It was a very enlightening book to me.
One that I think will transcend into "regular life" not just my romantic relationship.
It really talks about how to love all those around you, from family to friends, to coworkers and of course boyfriends/girlfriends. Loving them in the way that they need, desire & long to be loved. In the way that they are most Lilly to accept it. They way they crave to be loved.

It took me almost the whole book to figure out how I receive love best. That and the quiz in the back :)
But once I did I could totally see the point an things it was saying on how I desire to be loved.
Now don't get me wrong it's not 100% right on. After all, my primary love language may be Quality time but I also need someone who will call or text, initating communication. I know that I need to know that the person really wants me. That they desire me as a human not just a girl or a bed warmer or something like that.
Which is hard. How do you explain that to a boy?
Is it right or wrong to let them know what you need?
Do you go into the why of it? The aside from the last guy I was seeing, every boy cheated on me? Or is that too much info for a new relationship? And if it is where does the whole honesty thing come into play. If I want things to work, and I think I do, do I lay it all out there? Do I expose my heart? Or hold it all tight and wait till things get farther along?

Hummm, things to ponder as we approach the new year.

One thing I know though. I look forward to putting into practice is loving others as they need to be loved. After all if we do that can we really go wrong?

Facebook Christmas Story

(courtesy of Google Images)

Have you seen the buzz on this one? The Christmas story briefly told as it could have been had facebook been around when the birth of Jesus happened.

I think it's a neat concept. I really like that it's only 3minutes & 51seconds. So it's short enough that you can really watch the whole thing.

There were a couple things that really stood out to me as I was watching yesterday.

Ok so the first one was when people unfriended Joseph and it gave the notification of 25 (guesstimate) people unfriended- I thought "Oh My Goodness" people can see that you unfriended them! I know...not really the greatest thought to have when watching a things one the Christmas story....but still it was one of my first thoughts.

The next thought i did have was when Joseph was changing his status after finding out Mary was pregnant.
And how hurt and confused he was. And how "real" that all seemed.

Now mind you we often hear songs of Mary and what her thoughts AFTER the birth could have been...like "Mary did you know" and all that stuff.

But more often than not we neglect what Joseph was thinking or feeling as all this was going on.

And I must say that I do think Joseph was a pretty cool dude as he went through all of this. I mean it was a REALLY big deal having a woman you were going to marry turn up preggers suddenly. After all he KNEW it wasn't his baby. And we know how most men are Christian or not ...this would have most pretty upset, pretty wounded, pretty much going to guarantee that they were not going to stick around.

Especially back then when their society REALLY REALLY frowned upon that kind of behaviour. When I'm sure there would have been many more grave consequences for Mary. Not to mention even ones for Joseph if nothing else on a possible business side of things...remember he was a carpenter. To me that has to be a business that depends on other people.

But I was also thinking this morning as I was getting ready how God appeared to them.

And especially how God appeared to Joseph in the dream via Angels to him letting him know it was ok.
That this really was him. That it was HIS plan and HIS plan included Joseph.
But I love the way that God came to him when he needed it. When he was hurt and confused he made sure Joseph was getting the message.

And I wonder...how often does he do that for us and we don't see/hear it?

After all Joseph got his message via a dream. But do we ever get our from a person maybe? Be it a blog someone has written, or a kind word from someone we pass on the street, maybe a pat on the shoulder from a friend or a coworker.

Now I know maybe it's hard to see God in those things, after all it's not an ANGEL...but maybe it is.

Maybe it is God using someone here on Earth as an Angel because that's what we need.

Most of us these days would probably think we were off our rockers if we had dreams or visions of angels.
It's in a form that we can accept. Even if we don't always realize that God is giving us the thing we need.

I often think of the phrase that I heard all the time when I was younger.

"You may be the only Jesus a person ever sees."

And I think that is so true...there are so many people who will never step foot in a church this holiday season.
There are so many people who aren't willing to read a Bible.
There are so many people who are out there hurting who REALLY need the love of Christ.
People who God so desperately wants to reach.
And there are CHRISTIANS that are hurting, that God wants to let know.

I'm here...
I'm listening to you...
I'm waiting for you...
I'm hurting with you...
I LOVE you...


Even now... in your pain... in your suffering.
I haven't left you...
I WILL NOT leave you...
And I'm sending your sister or brother to help you...
Accept it...
Accept my love from them...
And feel that I will be here with you...
Even when you feel that you can't feel it...
Remember...
I'm here...
And I ALWAYS will be...

The Question is, will we hear it and choose to accept it?

And will we allow ourselves to be used to be that angel to someone else when they need Him?

On My Mind

There seems to be so much on my mind these days.

Some of it good- like the new guy, that's good. 

Not all of it is good though.

There are lots of things happening in the world today. 
Lot's of things that cause one to question things.

Like a blogger friend of mine who struggles with infertility and just had a failed attempt to get pregnant.
She has a desire to be pregnant so bad.  It's one thing that she seems to want more than anything else.
But endo has taken most of her chances on carrying a child. 

Then there is a little boy in our area that is fighting a brain cancer.
There is very little the doctors can do for him.  They are trying some chemo but the doctors told his mom that they don't believe he will leave the hospital.

I also received news from a friend of mine who has been serving on the mission field for 14 years that she is coming back to the states for, well at least a good while by the sound of it.  She fought and beat breast cancer 4 yrs ago and only returned to the field just this year.  And now she is coming back to the states.

This weekend I also heard of a pastor friend and his wife's struggle with their adopted son.  I son I have met, a RAD kid.  (RAD- reactive attachment disorder).  The hurt and pain this child is causing (even when he doesn't know he is causing it) to his adoptive family as his condition seems to worsen- not get better as he grows older.

It just doesn't seem fair. Not one little bit.

Now I say all this knowing that God has a plan. 
And I say that I don't understand His plan. 
But I do wonder- I do have a hard time wrapping my head around the whys.

And even in this Christmas season I still question things. 
And I find it amazing how much this message of HOPE seems to be calling out. 

I wrote my blog post for the jam last week regarding HOPE for the CHRISTMAS season. 
And then have had so many more moments of God showing and telling me of that Hope since then.

Something I had never really thought of before (something the new boy actually indirectly prompted me to think about after our non date Monday the 22nd.  When we were talking about Christmas and his lack of really caring for the holiday- and my honest feelings toward the same but also noting that I love the feeling behind the season).

This Sunday the sermon of the church I was attending (I was out of my own hometown) the pastor even spoke of the hope of the Christmas season.

These are some of the notes I took that morning, he was talking about the Christmas season yet HOPE was so entwined in all of it.
Hope-the joyful anticipation of good

Any area of your life that doesn't have hope is under the influence of a lie.

Hopelessness -the expectation that nothing will change.

We need hope of this side of the miracle- meaning once we have the miracle we don't need to hope for it- after all it has already happened- we have our miracle.
When we don't have hope we don't care about what happens.

We have:

Hope because he hears us

Hope because he is like us

Hope because we can be like him.



Luke 1:5-?

The Christmas story is about the birth of John & Jesus 
(How often do we leave John the Baptist out of this?)

We see more angelic activity in the Christmas story than we do anywhere else.

Luke 1:13

Your petition (prayer) has been heard. (said to Zachariah- John's father)

As the pastor put it,The prayer that you no longer pray has been heard. 
See Zack (yep I'm calling him that for short) and Elizabeth (Mary's cousin) had been barren for a long time.  Zack was old.  I'm not sure how old Elizabeth was but let's just say they waited for a child for many, many, many years. 

Sometimes the realities of life hit and we just stop praying because we can't handle the disappointment.

YET the prayers that you no longer pray have a long shelf life in heaven. It still talks. They are still echoing up there

Acts10:4

In the birth of John the fulfilment of prophecy and prayer gives us hope.

Jesus birth we discover a hope for a different reason.

It's the Me too aspect- someone gets your situation.

The incarnation where God enters into our story. They can understand. This is the God who knows what it's like to be human. A God who's present and knows what it's like.

A God on the cross who says I know how you feel.

We can't say- you don't know how I feel. You don't know what it's like.

He's been through everything we will ever go through.

God became like us so he can know what it is to be like us.

There is Hope in the Christmas story so we could become like him.


If Jesus did all things as the son of God instead of the son of man thru the holy spirit it would be different.  But He didn't- he did it - In right relationship with God.
He couldn't do things by himself and the spirit of God came upon him.

The son of God became and man so man could become sons of God. CS Lewis.

Acts 10:38

Faith is the substance of things hoped for.

Heb10:23-25
Romans 15:5-6

If I could say anything to any of the people mentioned above, even the ones that already know this, would be this thing.

Don't give up hope.
Cling to it.  Hold on tight.
We have HOPE no matter what our circumstances are.
No matter what path we walk or where we are in our life's journey.

We have a God who brings us HOPE, who gives us HOPE if we will just choose to believe in that HOPE. 
The HOPE that is in HIM, not in us, not in ourselves, our jobs, our spouse, families, doctors or anything at all. 
But our HOPE in HIM. 
It changes all the rules of the game we call life.

Sometimes its all I can do...

Not to smile....but just to keep from frowning

To keep moving...instread of standing still

To hang on...instead of letting go

To hold back the tears....when all I want to do is cry

To admit that I was hurt...when fear wants me to keep it in

To remind myself that I'm worth more....instead of allowing my thoughts to say otherwise


Life can be hard, and a struggle to keep walking.
I'll admit I've fallen a lot this year and it's taken it's toll on me.
On my heart. 
But I know that things can get better and they will eventually.
That the wounds will heal.  That He will heal me.

He knows
Even though I may not be smiling....I will smile again

That even if I stand still...there will be another time of movement

That it's ok to cry....he's counting my tears

That I'm not to fear....he's my loving father who is holding me safe.

He whispers to me, "you're  royalty, my daughter, I love you & you are worth the greatest treasure...even if I don't feel that way.

Bonnie from Faith Barista let me know that the Jam session for Thursday will be how does your faith affect your personality?

I think that my faith is so deeply intertwined with who I am it can't not affect my personality.
It gives me hope and peace.  Joy in struggles.
While things aren't always good,  or easy there is  still a foundation at the core of who I am. 
My faith helps me to think too.
Before I speak (though honestly this isn't ALWAYS, I am human) it helps me to think, how will it be taken.  How it could be perceived.
It changes how things affect me because I long to have a heart that longs for the things that He longs for. 
It affects how I think of and forgive others, even if they don't ask for it.  Even when I think they should. 
But over all it helps me to just be me...to relax and know I am ...flaws and all...the person He created me to be.
He loves me as I am.  He loved me where I was in the dirt and grime before I knew Him.  When I still stumble and fall in the pig sty and get dirty again, He lets me know that He still loves me and will pick me up and brush off the dirt and hold me close again.  He rejoices in the steps I take toward him, even in the littlest ones, because He loves me.


Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing i desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73:25-I6