I can only imagine...

Now let me just say I do think "I can only imagine" is a great song.
Really I do.
But tonight the guy on the radio was talking about having a discussion with a group of HS kids on what heaven will be like and it hit me...
Does it matter?
I mean don't get me wrong. I think heaven will be great, totally awesome infact. But I also think we won't have a clue on what it's really all about till we get there.
And I don't really think that it's something we need to be concerned with.
I think we need to be about our Father's business while we are here.
Doing the things that need to be done.
Living in a way that leads others to him.

After all I don't know about you but I have enough to focus on in the here and now.
And I trust that whatever heaven is like it will be more than we can really imagine and all that we hope and dream of.
After all we will be there with our Lord.
What could be better than that?

What a week...

Wow, when I look at this week and everything that went on it's slightly overwhelming. 

Monday was the biopsy day and I'm very thankful to report that it came back clear. 
All is well on that end at least for now, and I'm still resolved to no tanning. 

Tuesday -morning weight class, work and the start of my classes. 
Digital Photograpy is Tuesdays 6-9 pm. 

Wednesday's normal- work all day, youth at night.  Though next week it will include a 5am spin class.

Thursdays-weight class again, work all day and then the start of my other class.  Basic Photoshop 6-9pm as well.

Friday- work, hopefully go for a run and then our night of worship at church.

Saturday- Run (at least 6miles), go shopping with my good friend Tiff to finish getting what we need for our trip next week, then church at 6pm.  Possibly dinner in there as well with my sister and the kiddos. 

It's been a very long exausting week. 
And things won't slow again for at least a month.
Possibly longer than that really if I sign up for more classes.

On a good note though, I'm REALLY enjoying these classes.
Learning a lot and looking forward to putting everything into pratice. 

Never Tanning Again....

So a week ago Friday I went tanning...

Not a first for me.  And I certainly didn't think as I laid down to get some rays, that it would be my last time tanning in a tanning bed. 

However, unless something dratically changes in my mind that is what it was.

See I got SUPER burnt that Friday.
Probably the most burnt I've ever been, or at least that I remember being. 
And coming from a girl who as been white her WHOLE life and is a natural Red Head, that's really saying something. 

I was so sore Friday night, and the following few days that sitting, sleeping, walking and all that was really hard to do.  I was still red 5 days later,  and only really started to peel Thursday. 
I'm still peeling now (super attractive right! One good thing about being single currently. And I will say I am SUPER BLESSED that I covered my face that day), still itching over a week later.

And today I went to the dermatologist because with the hormones being out of wack, I wanted to see if we could do something about the skin that seems to be breaking out. 
After we discussed that she asked if I had any moles or anything she needed to check, and I had one that had seemed to pop up on my thigh a few months back.  One that hadn't been there before. 
So she wanted to take a look at it. 
Right away she said it didn't look good. 
And we needed to biopisy it.
So they numbed it and sliced it and I won't know for at least a week what it is.

She tells me don't lose sleep over it, it may be nothing. 
And I'm believing in faith that it will be nothing.
However I think it's time to use the brain God gave me. 

I had decided after the bad burn no more tanning beds, and after this I'm pretty sure I'll never do that again.  It just isn't worth the risk. 

Take a few moments and watch this...share it.  And USE SUNSCREEN.

I know now that I'm more at risk than most due to my light skin and red hair as well as family history. 

It's just not worth the risk, no matter how well we may all look with that sunkissed glow. 

And remember there is always, SPRAY TAN. 

Singlenss....and grace

So Annie over at Annie Blogs wrote a post a few weeks back for Incourage about being single. 
And today she has posted Another One on Incourage. 

She's being real and being honest about being single. 
Opening it up for all to be able to share.

I want to get in on it.
But I'll be honest I'm a little scared to do it. 

See, late last year I had re posted an article about Authentic Women's Ministry that a friend had posted. 
And was attacked when I mentioned that what I might need as a single woman may vary in what a married/mother might need. 
The person that did so was a friend one I had trusted with things in the past and her words cut deep. 
I'm still working to overcome the effect of them when I talk or even think about my singleness because she was intentional mean (she did say she was intentional about being mean so that's not my judgment there).

So while I open up here and join in on the whole thing with Annie, I want to ask a favor.

Please be gentile.

And know that as a part of who I am I don't think any less of you if you are married or a mommy,  nor do I think you have no struggles because you are one or both of those.  In fact I think you have some very big struggles and very hard tasks, ones that I could never understand more than likely. 
But that doesn't mean my struggles are any less of a struggle just because I'm single. 

So I'll start mine off kinda like Annie did...

I'm Leanna, I'm 32 and single.

Never married. 
And very few romantic relationships.
I grew up in a small town and maybe that's why there were never a lot of romantic relationships.
That or because I'm pretty picky and the ones I wanted always seemed to want someone else.

"Being single, whether never married or single again, can be a challenge, a blessing, a curse, a joy, a disappointment" (via Annie on her Incourage post)

And that is so very true. 
It often is a curse, hello, facing wedding season every year alone with no date is tough, watching most of your friends begin to have babies, Valenties Day (really like anything more needs to be said on that case).
It can be challenging to seem to be going at this all alone.
I for one don't want to burden my family with things, be it my parent or my sisters and brothers-in-law. 
That's me it's "how I roll".

But being single can also be a blessing too. 
I can decide on a whim if I want to go out and do things any day. 
My money is my own to spend.
I can pack my schedule for of stuff and not worry about anyone else but me. (not completly since I have family and responsiblities).

But this year as we start out I am going to be purposful about being thankful for this contiued season of singleness. 
And wait and see what God has for me in 2012.

I don't know what I want

I had lunch with a dear friend of mine from YWAM yesterday. 
She was my roomie for those months we were there back in 2001. 
We had an instant connection.  Even though there is a year or two separating our ages, and even though she is now married (to one of our classmates) and has 3 kids, we still get along really well.
I love her...to death as they like to say around here.
She and I have lived in the same town for a few years now, and we haven't done a good job at getting together very often these last few years.  Though we probably saw each other more in the last several months than we ever have. 
She's moving though, by Saturday of next week she and her family will be gone. 
Moving to Washington State.
He husband got a job working on the airplanes he has always wanted to work on.
His dream job. 
And his dream job allows her to have her dream job- stay at home wife and mommy...to home school her children.
I am so happy for them- even though it means they will be leaving here. 
How wonderful to be able to have your dream job. 

Yesterday after lunch while we were having coffee, she asked me what I wanted to do.
And you know what....
I don't have an answer.

Where do I want to go?
What do I want to do?
Job?
Moving?
All that. 

Aside from the fact that I really would like to marry- I just don't know what I want to do right now. 

I know I'm slightly bored where I work. 
I don't feel challenged where I currently am. 
I LOVE the people I work with and know that I'm very good at my job, I make good money and all that considering I don't have a degree, but still....
Is that enough?

I love my youth kids, but feel worn and weary at my Wednesday/Sunday church.
Is there more for me out there?  In the church or outside of it?

So, I'm thinking now,
What do I want to do?

Praying about it.
Seeking the Lord....What do you want me to do?
Stay, Go, Move, Wait....

Because honestly I don't know what I want to do.

New Year = changes

Ok I'm not one of those people who does New Year's Resolutions

I don't think I've had any since high school. I don't guess I believe in them.
I know for me, if I'm going to do something I'm going to do it or I won't.
That's just usually how I work.
If you're one of the resolution people out there I commend you.
And if you're able to meet your goals I think that's fablous.

There are things that I do want for 2012or maybe better said that I plan on doing.
One of which is my first half marathon.
I plan to sign up this week, but even though I haven't paid my entry fee it is in fact facebook official.
I posted that I was going to do it so now I feel like I can't chicken out.  Even if I want to.
Which will hopefully help me keep from doing so.
I'm slightly nervous since the most I've run in a race is a 5k.
Which is just over 3 miles. A half is something like 13.6 if I'm remembering correctly.
And I have til March to get ready and trained.

Last year though I told myself I wanted to run a marathon so if I'm going to do that this will have to be the first step.

So that's the first thing to "offically" complete for 2012, aside from making sure I make the time to write here as well as journal more often.