Why God-Sized Dreams Embrace Awkwardness & Joy (Faith Barista Jam)

God-Sized Dreams Embrace Awkardness & Joy

Really if you haven't checked out Faith Barista you really need to.
Not just to join in on today's jam session but because she does some really great writing & sharing.
http://www.faithbarista.com/

Now on to today's jam....
Bonnie wrote about the Awkardness & Joy in birthing God Sized Dreams. 
And even though I've never had kids, nor been in the room when one was being born
(and really I can say I don't really want to) I think that birthing and awkardness & joy go hand in hand.

Really, think of the struggle (more often then not) that a woman goes through when giving birth -after all it is called labor- and then the joy that comes from that process. 

I won't go into a lot of detail on that one since it could get messy.  :o)

But I think it's so very true.  It's work....birthing, and hard, and that's just what God sized stuff is.

This weekend we have our ladies retreat for our church.

This year I was asked to speak.  I think I may have mentioned that before- and the fact that I have to speak for 40 minutes. 
Not something that I was thrilled to find out.
40 minutes is a LOT of time.

But I said I would do it so tomorrow...that's what I'll be doing. 

I still have a few things to work out, so I'm refining that today.  But the retreat theme is Pioneer Women...and I wasn't thrilled about that either to be honest. 

It seems kinda silly to me and I just wasn't into it. 
My specific topic was "pioneer women work hard and accomplish much"
Again I wasn't too thrilled. 

Yes I work hard, and yes I accomplish much but at the same time I also think I sometimes work too much, and accomplish things that could be left alone. 

And as one who is working to scale back...this makes it hard.

But as I was planning what to say I started to write about Faith.  And how faith is something that takes work.

At least for me.

It's not that one can just say I believe and be done.  Not when it comes to our faith. 
It's an active and growing thing. 
Something to be nutured and developed. 
Something to be tended too. 
It can be choked out if one doesn't rip away weeds.
It will fail if we don't water it.

Otherwise, just like a flower that goes unattended, it will wither and die if left alone. 

So take the time to nuture your faith, and keep in mind that it is something that is active, not something that's just there. 
It will grow if you tend it. 

I do too much...

Today was/is one of those days where I feel like I do waaaayyyyyy too much.


Ever have one of those days? A day where you think to yourself, "how do I have any hair left?" Seriously, today was the stressful type that I thought I was about to either



A. Pull out my hair in frustration


or


B. It would fall out from stress.



Work is CRAZY right now for me.


Which while I like my job I don't currently LOVE it.


Probably because apparently the consensus is that I CAN do it ALL.


Because they keep giving me work, and giving me work.


Yet take nothing away.




Which don't get me wrong it's great job security but at the end of the day when I feel like I'm not really making a dent in it, it's well FRUSTRATING!

So I know that it's just a job and all of that.  And I know that at the end of the day I do get to go home. 

But do you ever see that transcend into your personal life? 
Do you ever see yourself taking on too much?
Do you ever have to stop and just take time to breathe?  Take time to focus on what's important?
I wish I could say I didn't have to do that.  That I didn't allow myself to get too busy to read my Bible, to pray like I should, to study as much as I know it would be of benefit.

But more often then not I say yes to too many things, things that aren't bad things - things that aren't wrong.  But they are still things, and yes there are times that some of those things do draw me closer to who He is...like when I'm "working" in the photography stuff, and I can see God's beauty shining in the eyes of a child or in the flowers of a garden. 

However not saying NO sometimes takes me away from Him,  because I get home tired, worn out and just plain exhausted.

So today I challenge you, put down the computer, walk away from the blog or anything thing that could be a distraction.  Start saying No to things and Yes to Him. 
Start making time now for Him.

Trying out the mobile blog

So, I got a new phone almost 2 weeks ago. The IPhone 4 to be exact. Now I have a 3 for my work phone but the 4 I must say I LOVE! And I decided since this is my personal phone I'd try one of these blogging aps. I'm not sure if I'll like it but I must admit that I like the convenience of it. As I'm sitting here watching my Steelers play and typing this is pretty nice.

Saved & Single

a friend of mine sent this to me a few years back, while cleaning out my email today I found it.  Thought I'd post if for all you single ladies waiting on the Lord. May it make you laugh & think. 

God Bless- Leanna

Saved & Single

- Author Unknown

What makes you think that just because I am an

Attractive woman of Godly intelligence

That I' m incomplete without a mate?

Who told you that

Without a man

Something ' s missing from my life?

And if so, What would that be?

Love?

I love myself

And more importantly

I love the Lord

He told me that when I delight in Him,

He will give me the desires of my heart

Security?

I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Intimacy?

Now, how 's a man going to get to know me

When he doesn ' t even know who he is in the Lord

See my Father told me I 'm above a ruby ' s worth

And a gem does not seek

It is sought

I ' m single and that' s all right with me

See,

it 's not that I oppose relationships

It ' s that I detest co-dependency

As a woman

I know it is not my role

To chase after any man

Esther 2:14 reads

That I am to wait on my king and when he ' s delighted in me. He will call me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.

I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,

It ' s not my job to convince him

Or Convict him of that,

My mate will already know it

And consistently show it

And he will stay on his knees daily

Not just to adore me

But to praise the Lord for

The virtuous woman he has found

So, when you see me by myself

I 'm not alone

I know what I have coming to me

I 'm single and saved, and right now that ' s all I need to be!

worry....

“Do not worry…

Look at the birds of the air,

that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns,

and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not worth much more than they?”

~ Jesus in Matthew 6:26

Big shout out to my blogger friend at Faith Barista http://www.faithbarista.com/2010/09/letting-go-of-worry/

She's started what she called the Faith Barista Jams.  Weekly Topics (on Thursdays unless I've crossed my days) that we can all blog and share our feelings on.

I've wanted to participate since she announced it but to be honest, life has been beyond crazy this past month.  And shows no signs of slowing.

However today's topic -WORRY- seems very fitting in this season of my life.

Also I LOVE the scripture at the top- which I stole off her page. 

It's such a great reminder of what a promise we have in Christ. 

That promise that he will take care of us, provide for us. 

I must say I'm just like Bonnie though. 

I worry.

I try not to but I do.

And more often than not that worry turns to stress,

which like I wrote before leads to all sorts of bad things. 

I confess I've been doing my fair share of worrying lately.

With the sister being engaged to a boy she's only known 2 months comes a lot of worry.

I feel like I can't help it, she's my sister. 

But I shouldn't worry.  God can take care of her. 

He can open her eyes if it's not right.

He can speak to her heart.

He doesn't need me to worry or stress about it (or do a background check on the guy)

He has it under control. 

I just need to trust and pray. 

That's my job.

He also doesn't need me to worry about my housing situation.

Yes I need to budget, pray, and plan.

But he will work it out for me when it comes to buying a home.

The real truth of the matter is that we can all find something to worry about at any given moment. 

No matter the day or hour there is always something we could worry about.

But the REAL truth of the matter is that we don't need to.

He has it all under control.

We need to let it go, give up that control and allow him to move in our lives.

In his time and in his way.

He will work it out so we are provided for. 

We needn't worry about that.

Huge Fail...but a good one

So, a few weeks ago Dayspring sent out cards to people who sent an email to them requesting cards for the National Day of encouragement.   http://www.incourage.me/2010/09/were-better-together-2.html
We were then supposed to blog or post something on September 12th on what we did with them.
Well, I did not.  September 12th was a day that I needed a lot of encouragement.  I spent most of the day with my mom talking through some things. 

But as always God has a plan and His timing is perfect.

See on the 13th I found out a coworker had been re diagnosed with cancer.  And when I heard that I knew just the card out of the packet that I wanted to send to her. 
There was also that day news of another friend who was going through some things as well who I knew "needed" one of those cards.

Then just this past Sunday, a friends husband died very unexpectedly. 
Again I reached for my pile of cards from Dayspring.  Sorted through them and found what I felt was the perfect one. 

There are many in there still to use, and I know that I will use them.  For the "perfect" thing in the "perfect" time.

So I may have failed in the Dayspring encourage time line but not in His timeline. 

It's been a rough few weeks here, and I know we aren't out of the woods yet but I do trust in the one who knows both my past and my future. 
The one who is willing to love and forgive me through any thing and any situation. 
The one who will never leave or forsake me....or you for that matter. 

So in all of this, even in my huge failing, I'm clinging to hope.  The hope of tomorrow.
Thank God that He is there no matter what, no matter where. 
I hope the video works.  If not search Kari Jobe (one of my favs btw) on YouTube the song is Everyone Needs a Little. 
Perfect if you ask me.....

I'm just tired....

I'm going to be totally honest today.

I'm tired, tired of running the race. 
Tired of this world we live in.
I LONG for the day that all this is over.

No I don't need to be put on suicide watch or anything like that.  I'm not now nor ever going to do anything to harm myself.

But I do wish, that life were done. 

I've messed up a LOT this year.  More than any year of my life.
It's going to take some time to get things back on the right track. 
I know that.  But I also know that I'm tired.

I long for the simpler days, where I did the right thing, where my witness was still good.
Where I got along well with almost everyone.  Where I don't know, I felt sane.

Not that I feel insane, not really, though does an insane person know they are insane? 

But I miss my old life.  I want to go home. 

I'm working to get back there but there are painful consequences from the choices I made.  Pain that I have been dealing with and there will be further pain. 

Most of all I know I feel disconnected from God.  Something that for me hurts the most, something that makes me sad.  And something that is just plain horrible in my book.

So if you read this, and I know you, know that I'm trying to get back to the right path.
And if I don't know you, please look around you there may be someone right beside you that is very good at faking it.  I know I am...which isn't something to boast about but just a simple fact. 
Look at people, ask God to reveal ways to you to help others,  even ones you don't know are struggling. 
If you have a friend you've disconnected from reach out and try to reconnect.  More than likely they really need you.  They may never tell you that they do, because they worry about being a burden to you.  But trust me they do.
And seek an accountability partner. 
That is one thing we all really need.  Struggling or not.